Looking for something to do tonight? Juno screenwriter/ unhealthy-Defamer -preoccupation topic Diablo Cody is curating the New Beverly schedule for the next two weeks, in a programme she calls MONDO DIABLO: Season of the Bitch!. "Call it a festival, a season, or just TWO SOLID WEEKS OF FUCKING RAD SHIT," she writes on her MySpace blog. The fun kicks off tonight with a Reitman family reunion, as both Ivan and Jason will be on hand to answer all your Stripes and Thank You for Smoking-related questions. To sweeten the pot—as if that fucking rad shit-filled pot needed sweetening—Cody has offered to sign your Juno DVDs and Blu-Rays, or your scrotum:
PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE COME. I'll sign your DVD. I'll sign your nutsack!
Now before a line of beaming, tracksuit-pants-wearing gentlemen of all ages and sizes starts winding its way around Fairfax, we'd like to remind everyone that Diablo's generous, nutsack-autographing offer was not meant to titillate cheap-thrill seekers. Handlers will ensure that the line move swiftly as possible, and while she'll do her best to oblige any requests, demands that she scrawl, "Your balls are the cheese to my macaroni. Love, Diablo" with a fine-point Sharpie across one's low-hanging nether-regions will most likely not be obliged.