'Mamma Mia' Narrowly Outpaces 'Dark Knight' in Close Race For Gayest New Release

Until today, we didn't really know Mamma Mia! had any competition for the weekend's gay-readiest cinematic treat, with the most recent evidence stretching the film's ABBA creds to recommend tips for building your own home disco. Classy, no? But a few Dark Knight contrarians are out there, subverting the conventional wisdom ("Is Mamma Mia! the gay Batman?") and giving the musical's loyalists a run for their gay money:

Not that "gay Batman'' isn't redundant. We've had our suspicions about the Dark Knight's proclivities since the heyday of Fredric Wertham. The latest iteration keeps Robin locked away in Batman's closet (who do you think is, ahem, redecorating Wayne Manor?) and Katie Holmes isn't around doing beard duty this time. But you'd have be in pretty deep denial not to pick up on the homoerotic hints. "You complete me,'' the Joker coos to the Dark Knight. ...
Meanwhile, Bruce Wayne does a lot of eyelash batting at his gushing new BFF Harvey ("you sure know how to throw a party!'') Dent, even teasing Harvey about his after-hours activities: "ballet?'' (Somewhere, Adam West is smiling). Why is the mayor of Gotham City wearing so much eyeliner? And who are we kidding, aren't Alfred and Lucius clearly a pair of old queens fussing over dressing up their leather-clad protege? Holy Aunt Harriet! Mamma Mia! is no less gay, but at least it's more or less out and proud. What do you think?

We think you're full of shit, actually, but we appreciate the effort! Next up: Space Chimps as homoerotic experimentation fantasy. Discuss! Or... not.