The Tila Tequila of stand up comedy, Dane Cook, was told to wait a little bit before entering the popular Hollywood watering hole Crown Bar on Wednesday night. The bouncer told Cook that he would have to wait because the bar was over the capacity for jerks. The bouncer said, "There's always a lot of douchey, jerky guys here every night, but I think the jerk store is having their office party here tonight or something. So we're at our quota right now. I don't know how long it's going to be, though." Cook's friend thought if the wait was going to be really long that they should just go over to Happy Endings or some place like that instead.
*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.