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Professional swashbuckler Orlando Bloom attempted to do a fellow New Yorker a solid by standing guard over a motorcycle. The biker had to make a quick stop at a nearby Duane Reade and Bloom gladly offered his watching services. As soon as the man disappeared into the pharmacy, Bloom hopped on the machine and mimed the sounds of speeding away as he pretended that his girlfriend was clutching him around his waist. As Bloom began to shake the bike back and forth, he accidentally caused the kickstand to break, which sent the mean machine crashing to the ground. Bloom quickly ran down the street and into the nearest subway station.

[Photo Credit: Splash Pics]

*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.