Apparently Tina Fey's lip-gloss must be really poppin', as witnesses testified that her eyes rolled straight back into her head within three seconds of application. Neither Fey nor her glam squad would unveil the secret ingredient that makes her lip-gloss so lip smackingly good. Fey said, "I'm a jack of all trades. Not only can I make you laugh and tighten your trousers, but I can develop the bomb ass lip-gloss that'll make your hipster boyfriend cut his hair, buy a pair of chinos, break up his band and get a real job."
*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.