The automatic doors of LAX refused to open for comedic actor Will Ferrell on Friday morning. The doors were making a stand against Ferrell's recent string of feature films. The intercom voice said, "The automatic doors are for people who don't make the same movie over and over again." Ferrell attempted to go through, but the doors would not budge. Ferrell cited the film Stranger Than Fiction as a stretch of his acting diversity. The intercom voice chimed back, "We tried to record that on the DVR, but there was a recording error." Ferrell asked the doors what they wanted him to do. The intercom voice told it would be in Ferrell's best interest if he takes a summer or two off and let the American public learn to love him again. Ferrell agreed to the deal and quickly made his way through the door.
*A Call To The Bullpen is a work of fiction. Although the pictures we use are most certainly real, Defamer does not purport that any of the incidents or quotations you see in this piece actually happened. Lighten up, people ... it's a joke.