Discovery Of Breasts On Pop Star Causes Aussie Hysteria

We'll try to break this situation down for you as gently as possible so than any Australian members of our audience don't immediately begin tearing off their clothes and taking topless pictures of themselves, which seems to be a typical reaction to the following story amongst a certain demographic. Earlier this week, Gawker's sexy sister site Fleshbot tracked down a topless photo of Jessica Origliasso, a 23-year-old Australian pop star who sings in a group called The Veronicas with her twin sister. For ease of comparison, let's call her the Aussie Lindsay Lohan (they both like to kiss girls). Now people in Australia are going all WILD over this scandal and BARING THEIR BOSOMS. We must call for calm!

We thought Australians were all drunken harlots anyhow? We don't follow Aussie pop music but we'd imagine this sort of thing would be almost an imperative. Intoxicated Aussies falling down on the the beach, isn't that how it goes, stereotypically? But since the news broke on Fleshbot, Origliasso's rep has tried to deny the topless photo is her, even though it's part of a set that obviously is her.

More alarming has been the response of the singer's young fans, in an online forum:

The fans on the forum had been planning to send in photos and videos of themselves in bras and bikini tops as a symbolic gesture of support for Jess.

YES GOOD IDEA. Apparently her fans felt that hundreds of photos of female breasts would help cheer up the woman-loving singer (makes sense):

"It isn't fair! We just want Jess to know how "supported" she is and that she has such good fans and like I said before we're all in this together and we just wanna stand by our two favourite girls."

Excellent use of double entendre there, Aussie teenager. Jess herself encouraged her fans not to pursue this boobie picture plan, although I'm sure Fleshbot would be happy to receive the photos in her stead. This seems like a hell of an outcry, though, over what is one pretty tame photo of breasts, that Fleshbot found on a photo service site. Have we in America exported our prudishness to Australia, as part of globalization, in exchange for Fosters beer? It will take many more topless photos to answer this question.

[Fleshbot, Daily Telegraph]