It's that time of year when institutions of higher learning heartlessly eject their seniors into the real world! Princeton grads were treated to the best speech of the season; Stephen Colbert delivered a zinger-filled address (above) in which he wisely reminded grads that "no one will ever, ever want to hear you sing a capella" outside college. How true. But plenty of other colleges tapped A through Z-list celebs to brace their soon-to-be-discharged students for entry into the workforce.
And most of them are now online. Noted motivational speaker Shepard Smith gave sage life advice to the graduates of the University of Mississippi. Michael Bloomberg spoke at Penn. Right-winger Chuck Norris spoke at the Jerry Falwell-founded Liberty University. President Bush spoke at one of the few colleges where he's not widely despised, the Air Force Academy. Barack Obama stepped in for a cancer-sidelined Teddy Kennedy at Wesleyan. Paul McCartney spoke at Yale. Sappy novelist Barbara Kingsolver spoke at Duke. Gay marriage-championing mayor Gavin Newsom spoke at SF State. Pop historian David McCullough spoke at Boston College. Inconvenient truth-teller Al Gore spoke at Carnegie Mellon. First couple of punditry Mary Matlin and James Carville spoke at Tulane. Craiglist founder Craig Newmark spoke at Berkeley. Xerox CEO Anne Mulcahy spoke at the University of Rochester. Sadly, no one saw fit to record for posterity Lisa Ling's no-doubt rousing address at Quinnipiac.