The vacant amalgamation of tits and teeth that is Heidi Montag, star of MTV's The Hills, and her boyfriend/demon lover Spencer Pratt have settled into some mystery deal with paparazzi company Pacific Coast News that pays the couple money for them to let the company's photographers catch them in completely unscripted moments of photogenic bliss. Jossip thought it might be a scoop. In a recent post they report: "We’re hearing very good information that the agency cut a deal with The Hills‘ Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt. PCN gets access the couple, staged shots...while Heidi and Spencer get to be seen in positive light." Oh yeah? Well, we're hearing very good information that Robert DeNiro has cut a deal with the deli near his Tribeca loft. DeNiro gets access to premade sandwiches of turkey and cheese while the deli receives kickbacks in the sum of the cost of said sandwich ingredients plus labor!!!! How do you like them apples, Jossip? After the jump some totally candid shots of the couple taken by PCN and an exclusive look at a sandwich similar to the one Robert DeNiro may or may not have eaten!

Totally Predictable Secret Entente Between 'Hills' Stars and Paps RevealedS

Totally Predictable Secret Entente Between 'Hills' Stars and Paps RevealedS

Totally Predictable Secret Entente Between 'Hills' Stars and Paps RevealedS

Totally Predictable Secret Entente Between 'Hills' Stars and Paps RevealedS

Totally Predictable Secret Entente Between 'Hills' Stars and Paps RevealedS