Watch The Bitchiest Figure Skating Fight Ever

Figure skater Evan Lysacek has already edged out rival Johnny Weir for the men's U.S. Figure Skating Championships, and Weir has already followed up with an interview in which he said, "I respect Evan as an athlete, but as a person I don’t really like him... There’s nothing special about him to me. We would never be friends." But nothing in the catty rivalry quite matches the quietly seething, passive-aggressive escalation of bitchdom in the following face-off interview, aired just before the championship match and replete with backhanded compliments, subtle digs and averted eyes. Video and a brief passive-agressiveness tour after the jump.

Some text from the interview, along with the related subtext:

Evan: I want to give props to Johnny, because, I sort of thought about this today, how he did this three times I do not know.
.... given his complete lack of natural talent.

Interviewer: Were you aware of how well he had skated when you went out?
Evan: No.
I was also not aware of how well he skated when I was watching him skate.

Interviewer: Did you watch him skate?
Johnny: No I listened about it on the phone with my best friend because he was watching the Ice Network and he was like OK this is happening now, this is happening.
I am trying to act nonchalant while simultaneously revealing that I make my best friend take the Ice Network on his cable plan.

Interviewer And does that excite you, when you see how close it is?
Johnny: I think it is more exciting to people watching to see that someone is nipping at my heels so close.
Like a little pathetic chihuahua.