Gawker
Proving that Russia is wondrous strange and a little very scary, the trashy Brit tabloid the Daily Mail has the story of the inordinately beautiful Russian bodyguard Anna Loginova who was killed trying to prevent her Porsche from being carjacked. She didn't succeed. Loginova ran a lady bodyguard service for "Russia's billionaires, wives and mistresses" in which beautiful KGB-trained women would provide companionship and protection for people we assume looked like Viggo Mortensen in Eastern Promises but less dreamily sinister and more just sinister. More details and, duh, half nudie shots after the jump. 
The glamorous 29-year-old died from head injuries after clinging on to the door handle and being dragged along the street at high speed as the car screeched away.
"She suffered serious injuries and died at the scene," said a police spokesman.
Police believe that she was killed in a random carjacking and was not the victim of an attack based on her work for wealthy high-profile Russian clients.
...
She was highly respected for her bodyguard skills. "A normal man gets sick and tired of male bodyguards around him all the time," she said.
"In addition, many restaurants now do not allow a guard inside. They can come in and check everything but then they are asked to wait in the lobby.
"In contrast, you can take female bodyguards inside, she will sit down at the table and nobody would guess that she's a weapon herself - and can react appropriately in any dangerous situation."
She spoke of a recent carjacking incident in Moscow.
"I got out, locked the car and at that moment a man ran up and squeezed my hand with keys. I reacted immediately with a Jujitsu move, bending back his hand and hitting his face with my elbow.
"He did not expect such a reaction. The next moment, I took out my handgun but a Honda car passed by and he jumped in."
Comments
Note to self for use when I am next called upon to prevent a crime: "It's just a car."
um... do her panties say "moth"?
Stop using sex as a weapon.
@wanderlust: I think they say "note".
It looks like "BOC8" to me.
Incredibly stupid to die over a hunk of overpriced metal.
Maybe it says rock? I think it's written in CAPTCHA - now that's security.
Unfair, Josh. Using scantily clad women will gain you my pageview, but also my respekt.
Hot Russian Female Bodyguards. How is this not a movie already?
@VoxPopuli: That is really funny.
Nick, on an entirely different note I see a new line added to the commenter profile page, showing "(commenter name) is..." and then there's a field to enter something. Are we supposed to enter something about ourselves there? Is it only viewable to the individual commenter?
I think it says "borscht."
@fiveinchtaint:
Or better yet, a reality show!
@scroll_lock: Yes - I see that now on mine too, but I don't see it when I look at your profile.
Oh god - please don't tell me it's a facebooky status update line.
@VoxPopuli: I think it may be.
I just typed something in there to test it out.
But, of course I can't see how my own profile looks out there.
If it does look facebooky let me know and I'll take it down.
@drunkexpatwriter: @VoxPopuli: Can't see anything on either of yours so it's only for the commenter's own view. Since that's the case, I don't really know its purpose. Just our own amusement?
@scroll_lock: Oh weird. I typed something into mine, but yeah - can't see anything on yours. I suspect this user experience "enhancement" is still in the works.
@scroll_lock: Wow, so now I can use the Internet to tell myself what I'm up to!
I think I'm just going to switch it between "Drunk" and "Not Drunk" depending on the time of day.
@fiveinchtaint: Interesting.
@drunkexpatwriter: Can't talk now as I'm busy trying to come up with sufficient hyperbole to describe myself adequately. But yes, I do believe you should keep yourself apprised as to your level of inebriation. If in doubt, you can always check in to see.
@scroll_lock: Yes, also if it's ever viewable by other people the "Drunk" or "Not Drunk" designation would let readers know exactly how seriously to take my comments.
@drunkexpatwriter: That could start a trend- the Jezebels can put a "PMS" or "NO PMS" alert so that readers will know how fat they're feeling at any given moment.
@scroll_lock: I just sent you an answer to your question in the form of a GawkerFunEgg that will hatch when you feed it six times from your GawkerFunEggFoodChowBag. Eight times out of nine, you get a GawkerFunPet. The ninth time you get Julia Allison.
Mine's Lolcait with reindeer antlers!
@Pope John Peeps II: Just what I always wanted, CodePink with the body of a Basset Hound! Thanks!
People, her panties quite clearly say MOCK, the first four letters of the cyrillic spelling of Moscow. In Russian, the word for Moscow looks something like
MOCKBA.
@mollypicon: I beg to differ. They are day of the week panties and it was Monday.
I went to Moscow with my husband. I kept calling it Mokba, because that's what it said everywhere. There's a lot of pride in that city.
@scroll_lock: I'm wondering if it's really a clue about the release date of the next Dan Brown book, cleverly put on the front of her bikini by a fashion designer who secretly works for a two thousand year old religious organization that was responsible for Mary Magdeline's bikini waxings.
hmmm...looks like COCK to me. Maybe that was a clue. Not-so-lady Russian.
You had me at half nudie shots
If one would rearrange the letters in her name it spells: "a vaginal no no". Go figure.
@scroll_lock: True, but would have been bad for business for a high-profile body guard to be a victim. Catch-22
@drunkexpatwriter: Lacroix! It all makes sense now.
I understand she often had to go back more than once as the papyrus they used was grossly inefficient. Left one looking as though she had twat mange.
@MartyPants: I thought it said "cock" at first as well - but then figured that was just Fredudian word association because of my current freelance job.
@A_Mere_Wisp_of_a_Lad: That would be embarrassing in her line of work, but gross receipts will now be way down for someone who went from driving a Porsche to taking a ride in a brass-handled sedan.
@scroll_lock: Yes, this is why Jesus declared Sunday a "Day of Rest" so that her minge had time to heal before the next treatment.
@drunkexpatwriter: St. Veronica really should have looked into that gig, what with her ability to transfer a facial image onto cloth. They really could have used her.
@scroll_lock: She tried to help but she was detoured away by a cabal of painters, artists and stable hands (led by Hieronymus Bosch) who were determined to destroy The Church and rebuild it in their own subversive image.
I can picture the guy who hired her: "I have sexy lady bodyguard. Also my bedsheets are of Sean-John variety, and my toothbrush is Rolex."
@drunkexpatwriter: Damn that Thomas Kinkade. There is no end to the evils he has perpetrated against humanity.
really? no 'in soviet russia' yet?
@mitchel_stevens: Seriously. This is pretty much Christmas, Easter, Kwanzaa, and Mother's Day for anyone who's ever wanted an excuse to dust-off the old "In Soviet Russia, car drives you!" bit.
Also, I'm pretty sure her panties say "ROCK" on them. Why do I feel strange that this has not occurred to anyone else?
@Furious_George: I think this is the most amount of time a lot of Gawker commentators have spent looking at a woman's crotch in a while.
Judging by the picture, she seems to have made a career out of protecting the most run-down of warehouses utilising the most basic of weapons.
"In Soviet Russia, our female bodyguards have no fear of tetanus. Tetanus fears them."
@fiveinchtaint: Wasn't this a TV show with Pam Anderson a few years back?
Gotrunova.
@magneticfields: Was that the plot of V.I.P., Barb Wire or Stripperella? You may be right!
@viruswithshoes: lame
@psst: also lame
Zac Efron would be perfect in the Movie of the Week.
The lowercase N thing might be P, O is O, C is S, the X is ch (as in Scottish loch), so I get POSK. Which is probably Russian for 'Virginal as the Romanicized Mary'
Why is she wearing a Hassidic wig?