On this, the eve of the first state primary in years where the outcome is not already a horrifically boring given, rest assured the fate of the country is finally in the hands of the wise and wonderful people who search for stuff on the Internets. Some of the hottest Google search terms today?

• #6 "where do i vote"
• #12 "what is super tuesday"
• #23 "fat tuesday"
• #31 "am i registered to vote"

Now, be nice to those polling place volunteers when you show up tomorrow to cast your ballot and it turns out that Super Tuesday is not a thing like Fat Tuesday. It's not their fault. Blame Hillary—she's the one who took away all the booze.

Contact information for this author is not available.