Britney Spears is in a padded room, deemed by a court-appointed lawyer too crazy to understand her own case, but the judge wants to check with a doctor to be extra sure she's mentally unfit because apparently he doesn't have access to television, print media, the Internet, radio or anyone who has consumed any news whatsoever at any point in the past two years.
For the two weeks Spears is in the hospital, her dad retains control of her lawyers, medical situation and fast-dwindling supply of money, but she's bravely fighting to put all that in the hands of this buddy of her hanger-on who can't contact her due to a perfectly innocent restraining order.
Meanwhile, Jennifer Aniston heroically endures Angelina Jolie's pregnancy by Brad Pitt, even though Jolie is clearly trying to humiliate her though brazen fertility. [ShowbizSpy]
Married Daniel Baldwin is "inappropriate" with an adult film star, checks out of rehab, and Dr. Drew is the only one especially worried about all this. [ET]
People Magazine travels to Australia to discover the shocking truth: Heath "Ledger's father Kim and other relatives appeared solemn and tired" after burying their son and taking a 20-hour flight home. [People]
Paris Hilton going on The L Word, doesn't know "what kind of character I'll be playing" since her dramatic range allows for so many options. [Parade via GaySocialites]
Ashton Kutcher and Bruce Willis have a weird relationship. Surprising. [P6]