Gawker
Despite the beating the IAC boss is receiving in the business press, Barry Diller showed up last night at the grandest party of Fashion Week, the bizarre event sponsored by Gucci for poor Malawian children each of whom could survive a decade for the price of the fashion label's more expensive accessories. By the internet mogul's side, as usual, Diane von Furstenberg, the fashion designer he wed in 2001. Which is as good a time as any to ask the age-old question: why on earth does 65-year-old Diller, an inducted member of the boy-loving velvet mafia, persist with such a sham of a marriage? (Clue: it's something to do with the good-looking baldie on the left.)
It's not as if Diller has kept his sexuality such a secret.
Sure, he threatened Michael Wolff if the media columnist, then at New York magazine, wrote about his personal life. "No. I don't think you understand," he told Wolff. "I would kill you." And a memoir by a former escort who claimed to have bedded various members of Hollywood's gay mafia was expunged of all references by name to Diller; though a character nicknamed The Bear, bearing some resemblance to the compact tycoon, did make an appearance.
But, at least at the level of gossip, Diller's inclinations have been a staple for at least two decades among journalists, fellow media magnates, the gay establishment, and their catamites. Diller has done little, beyond vague threats to journalists and publishers, to dispel the rumors. The tycoon's donations to charity include many gay causes. His former yacht, the appositely named Black Sheep, regularly docked at Provincetown, the gay summer resort on Cape Cod. (See video.) Page Six even reported, three years ago, that the high-living mogul "partied" aboard the boat with Chris Beckman, a pretty boy from the Real World: Chicago.
Several authors have gone beyond mere implication. The Operator, Tom King's biography of David Geffen, the most open member of the velvet mafia, states baldly that Diller is gay. Both Geffen and Diller were immediately sought out by the press when Michael Ovitz, the once-mighty Hollywood agent, blamed a mysterious gay cabal for his professional demise. And Maer Roshan, ridiculing the discretion of known gay celebrities, referred in New York magazine to Diller's long-term relationship with a former editor-in-chief of The Advocate, the gay magazine.
So why does Diller bother? There seems little doubt that the IAC boss and Diane von Furstenberg are close friends; they have known eachother for decades. In the homophobic Hollywood of the 1970s, it was probably useful for Diller to confuse the issue of his personal life. His counterparts might suspect, or know; but there was enough contradictory information to prevent exposure by the press. That's now less of a reason for dissimulation, of course: the dam has broken; newspapers and magazines, facing competition from gossipy blogs such as this, are much less easily browbeaten by privacy-obsessed moguls; they can't afford to repeat the official line without looking craven. Diller's marriage to Diane von Furstenberg was described, even in the normally straight New York Times, as a "merger".
But there's one other reason for Diller's marriage of convenience, and it's quite touching. Diller has no children of his own. Diane von Furstenberg, and her children Alex and Tatiana, are the closest the solitary mogul has to family. Diller is said to be particularly fond of Diane's 38-year-old son, pictured left. "He really loves Alex," says someone who knows them both. Diller deeded Alex his house in Malibu on his first marriage (no word yet on what the wedding present will be for his second, to Ali Kay, disclosed in today's Page Six).
That's not the extent of Diller's financial support: Diller has already financed Diane von Furstenberg's fashion label; it is widely assumed that he will leave his fortune to Alex and his sister. Which provides an explanation for the merger, if not for the pretense of a wedding ceremony, so bogus that David Geffen refused to attend. Marriage, apart from presenting a front to conservative high society, does make it easier to avoid inheritance tax. Now Diller had better fend off his hostile shareholder, John Malone, and extract some value from IAC's languishing portfolio of internet businesses.
The gay billionaire, who marries his fag hag so that he can support her children: that's an uplifting narrative; it loses some of its dramatic power if the billions evaporate.
Comments
A gay guy marrying Diane von Furstenburg makes complete sense to me.
How do you explain marrying Star Jones?
Barry Diller not a von Furstenberg filler?
The things I don't know shock me sometimes.
I wonder how he looks in a wrap dress?
Hell, if I got a beach house and an unlimited supply of wrap dresses out of it, I'd let those two old crazies adopt me.
There's a lot of ways he could have done this without engaging in a sham marriage that fools no one. Ergo, he must really love her and those kids.
I could go on about the hell of the closet and the disservice gay folks do to the gay community by remaining in it. But that would be mean, and in this case, probably unfair. I'll save it for another post. One involving a Republican Senator and a public toilet.
Maybe they are each other's soul mate. I can see how you could connect on every single level except sexually. My brother is queer as a pink bee and he has a friend that is like that. Maybe he just wants a sense of family and "normality" Hell, if it works for the two of them who gives a shit??? I could be a REALLY good fruit fly for someone that had billions, I would be ohhhhh so sweet. Good for them I say!
@Cheap Shot: HA!
DVF = brave beard
Woah. DVF's genes produced that delicious hunk of man? But... how?
Um, isn't that was Ari O did when he married Jackie? Even though he wasn't necessarily gay? It was, in large part, about her kids.
In any case, a seniors marriage generally is more of a partnership and friendship than a romantic liaison, no?
The problem is: he's obviously getting some, and she's obviously not.
@Swordfish: I would not say "she's obviously not;" I always thought she developed those wrap dresses to better enable her quickies at The 54!
Ugh, I always get Diane Von Furstenberg and Gloria Vanderbilt confused.
Say what you will about Barry (and I am glad you do) but he must not be the myopic vindictive type (just the generalized vindictive type we call: Businessman) because that Ask.com ad keeps appearing at regular intervals on these pages.
@Gayyker: Vanderbilt was the one married to Bobby Short.
For a really long time I thought DVF birthed Anderson Cooper! (lawls at me)
Diller, Oscar, and how many other married queens are there in this town? To me it does seem--is--hypocritical--phony--etc etc--but NY is full of them. Hello, various Forbeses, dead and alive? In some cases it's generational, in others it's self-loathing, in some cases it's genuine if pragmatic friendship--but I do hate the pretense. An outmoded way of life, like many prerogatives of Rich White Men.
@annasballs:
yeah i agree but it does seem weird why he still has this WEIRD self hate thing going on?? I thought money and power brought you happiness and control?? Sheez..
The first time Barry Diller came up on my gaydar was when I was reading Musto's account of the wedding, saying something like, "The wedding guests, mostly confirmed bachelors themselves, threw Streisand albums instead of rice."
Maybe he really, really, REALLY loves Alex, and Ali is another beard?
I'm not a fan of Diller. But of all things to pick on him about - this one seems just flatly pointless. It is worth remembering that he's 65, thus came from a different generation and I have to think that growing up gay back then established some pretty strict defenses in his psyche. That aside - truly - who cares. There are so many other things to bother Barry about, why this one? It would be one thing if he were sanctimoniously knocking the gays but he's not...he's just doing his thing as he'd like, which really is a privilege we all share, not just restricted to billionaires. Finally, do we really want this man to admit he likes to fuck men? Or worse, be fucked by them? Who on earth wants that image in their head. C'mon Nick... you're making me feel for the guy and that is both unnatural and uncomfortable for me. Find something else about which to badger Barry.
@Ogiri W Surie: well, she didn't marry Short--but she was Garlandesque in that a husband's interest in the boys was no impediment to getting what she wanted...all I'm sayin' in def to Coop.
@BettyCrocker: But you think somebody like BD could just say fuck it and set up trusts for the kids and have some kind of Home at the End of the World deal with Diane (if that's what he really wanted) and the guy he wanted to be with. I think this runs deeper. He's an old dog who grew up in a way different time. He also might perceive a business disadvantage to coming out.
@lawyergay: There is something to be said for willing suspension of disbelief... alot of straight men WANT to be fooled about this sort of thing. Two boys together scares the shit out of them.
Jeebus! Alex vF! That square face is made for sitting. And the ears... perfect handles!
@annasballs: I was making a funny when I said that ;)
Although speaking of Dillers, when I was a kid I did actually think that Phyllis Diller was married to Rip Taylor.
I always wondered about this myself. BD never seemed to mind everyone knowing he was gay...and yet he got himself a beard. Why?
Maybe he just really really wanted to have a fabulous wedding! Or maybe there was a wedding planner he had a crush on, but he was too shy to him ask out and this was the only way he could think of to spend time with him otherwise!
I thought everyone knew getting married was a great way to pick up dudes.
Wasn't Liberace married?
This is my ideal marriage....a billionaire, supports your bussiness, sets up your kids and you can be having all the fun you want on the side .....
@ILikeThemBig: Hey, I don't think we're exactly badgering Diller on this subject alone. The main reason we're covering him at all is because his mogul-like aura is slipping. This is a business story, with a personal adjunct. He's had an easy ride with the press for years, because he's witty, and gives good quote, and knows the bosses. And I don't want Gawker to be part of that: if a story is pretty much common knowledge around town, why shouldn't it be published? I'm sick of the coded language that most publications use to signal something, such as gayness, to the insiders, while keeping the general reading public in the dark. Not here; not by us.
@Ogiri W Surie: I can see Ripp as Fang...
When I bit on the jump I was hoping the post would be mean, but I actually don't think it turned out that way at all.
In a strange way it was kind of sweet. Not sure how I feel about that. I'm sure, however, that Barry won't like it one bit.
@Nick Denton: But doesn't there seem to be a relationship to age and coming out?
Also, there are certain industries where this is still a no-no. A no-mo perhaps??
That said, the closet is a terrible thing.
@Nick Denton: I love that Gawker ISN'T coding the references and applaud you for not being part of the quieted cabal. But I don't think his being gay, or his marriage to DVF warrants a post unto itself. The point you just made in your response to me, that he's managed to keep the media at bay for years, his midas-aura is tarnished and slipping, that's good reading but I just don't see, or agree, that his being gay (or not commenting about it) plays into it. Plus, the general reading public - who are they? This blog, by definition, is for the insiders. Susie Q and Joe Blow don't even know who Barry Diller is and so... wouldn't care re: gay or not. One of the funniest things I have ever seen is someone who worked for IAC telling their mother's bridge party that they worked for Barry Diller and the response, overall, was "Who?" It was not only classic, but a beautiful reminder of how insular our world really is. I may be in the minority, but I truly do not see this aspect of Diller as reflective of his poor management skills. Unless...you park it in the same slot of his personality that demands the world adhere to his version of reality.
The truth of the matter is complicated, but one of the main reason is for dinner parties. Male-Male pairs simply don't get invited to all the best parties. It doesn't work for business dinners or social occasions. Diane is the ideal dinner date and ensures that Barry and his wife can be social with other moguls or biz partners and their wives.
I'm pretty sure DVF is a man, which makes this entire thread moot.
@ILikeThemBig: But you know, part if the issue is exactly that. No-one except the privileged media-elite knows who he is. So why the pretense? No-one in the corn-belt cares. I think this has more to do with generational mores and his Rupert Murdoch daddy-complex problem.
Next thing you are going to tell me is that Merv Griffin was gay... no way!
@Sally Tenpenny: I think you may be on to something there. My late Uncle never came out of the closet. He sublimated desires for a family by helping to raise his sister's children and always had women friends and straight couples to socialize with. Even when he could have come out later in life, he chose not to. Perhaps its generational, but he answered to no one and I think he simply preferred his life the way it was.
Nick, I wonder if you are intimating by extension that homophobia is one of the reasons, if not the major reason, behind Malone's aggression toward Diller?
Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn't DVF's previous hubby the late Egon (and that young man's dad)one of the boys,too? If that is the case, then DVF has never been married to a straight man.Probably doesn't like them.
@BettyCrocker: well, it's a see-through closet anyway.
@ILikeThemBig: @Nick Denton: Well, I live out on the grand prairee and I know who Barry Diller is, and John Malone, and Michael Wolff (whom I would enthusiastically slap, without warning or explanation, if he ever came mini-striding through the posh shopping district of this town). Wal-Mart may be doing the big mag cull, but my VF, my New York mag, they can't take those away from me. And the Webs have done a lot to kill cultural distance.
To the extent that mass culture is molded in New York and L.A., insight into those in control is welcome.
Plus, gossip is fun, duh.
Signed, NOT NTJ
@Nick Denton: But it's a little disturbing that you're outing him only because his aura is fading. Real truth and courage would have been to write this when Diller was at the height of his powers (or at least higher). Wouldn't that have been more courageous and looked less like kicking a man when he's down? And then what's your answer to the implication in this piece that Diller has a romantic interest in Alex vF? Isn't that coded?
No complaint about how this was written, because it's as immaculately reported as anything like this can be. I just don't buy that Diller receives some sort of identity-based comeuppance in retaliation for his success.
this shrewd bastard is getting exactly what he deserves. when I hear from other business moguls in his similar age bracket, they all refer to him as the businessman wearing purple panties. he's oppressed others simply because he's had to repress his own sexuality publicly, so now he's just paying off his debt to society and all of the careers that he's brutally destroyed. i hope things get even nastier for him ;)
@cassandra: Oh please, this was all in Spy 17 years ago. It's not like it's recent news.
@cassandra: Oh for God's sake, Denton isn't outing Diller, don't be ridiculous, nor is he implying Diller has a romantic interest in a man he (Diller) regards as a son. What kind of idiot are you? The real Cassandra was crazy too, but at least her comments were accurate.
Are you implying that being gay is the same as being "down" (i.e. "kicking a man when he's down"). Now, going down...that I can see. But, last time I checked, that wasn't specific to the gay community, thank goodness.
Twat.
There were rumors about Barry, and some of his avocations, back when I was reading scripts at Paramount 20 years ago. Won't repeat them -- why?
I still think you guys can come up with better, more deserving, targets. He's done some interesting stuff, and it's clear to me that he thinks on his feet.
I'd leave him alone... there's a lot to be said about Katzenberg or Geffen that is worse (like their movies?)
Or cut to the chase, as Nurse Pornstein suggests: pick on someone Really Awful like John Malone?
I'll shut up now. Myself -- I am home, comfortably basking in the afterglow of Mitt Romney's withdrawal!
Awesome.
@ILikeThemBig: Did we read the same article?
You can't really out the capo of the Gay Mafia.
I've always thought of their marriage as like one of those sexless, comfortable lesbian relationships that revolve around the TIVO, snuggling on the sofa, and looking after the cats. Gore Vidal doesn't fuck the fellow he lives with either. In its own unconventional way, it's an archetype.
@damiannyc: Studio 54 was an awfully long time ago, honey.
@Estebanleo: Egon von Fistenberg they called him, I've heard.
BTW, from what I've heard, Barry has a huge dick. You're welcome for the visual!
@ILikeThemBig: I guess in all those fancy words you missed the point? Denton was talking about the timing of the post -- that they wrote it because "Diller's aura is fading." Now, that translates to him being down, yes? Or is your reading comprehension the equal of your second-grade language?
The point is, to write a post about how Diller has a sham marriage --which, yes, everyone knows -- because he's in trouble financially translates to kicking a man when he's down. It's like sharks who smell blood. It would have been far smarter, sharper and more courageous (and FYI, more relevant) to talk about Diller being out when he was at the top of his game.
Also, if you didn't get the implication that Diller, The Big Gay, LOVES ALEX SO MUCH..look, what can I tell you? Get hooked on phonics,you ass.
@cassandra:
My dear, if you're an example of the superior comprehension skills hooked on phonics provides, then I do think I'll pass.
I assumed the reference to an amorous ersatz father-son relationship was jocund, heh heh. It just seems so improbable-- Alex von Furstenberg is said to have been a womanizer, for one.
I'd find it easier to believe that Diller simply sees in his stepson the man he'd like to have been: a strapping, good-looking boy of jewish cum aristocratic lineage. I've also read much here of late-- too much-- about personal "brands"... that Diller would want to be part of a glamorous famille, his stepson the glittering crown jewel, for reasons personal or professional would not surprise me in the least.
@ILikeThemBig: Oh, sure, don't change for me. But I do hope some day you'll be able to tell your ass from your subtext.