Famous Musician Offers Job For Stupid And Crazy People

A famous, rich musician of the "urban" flavor, who also works in movies, is offering an assistant job so simultaneously awful and demanding that anyone who agrees to take it is, by definition, unqualified. It will appeal only to the insane, the retarded and the pathologically insecure, and yet its requirements could only be met by an as-yet-undesigned cyborg or human-animal hybrid. Full ad here, highlights after the jump.

Just a few of the requirements:

This position requires someone who is business savvy but youthful that has a full understanding of what it takes to be a Personal Assistant to a very busy Celebrity....



YOU NEED TO HAVE AN UNDERSTANDING AND APPRECIATION OF BOTH THE URBAN MUSIC AND MOTION PICTURE MOVIE INDUSTRY. PRIOR EXPERIENCE IN URBAN MUSIC WOULD BE A PLUS. ..



(1) Assistant must be comfortable with wardrobe maintenance and coordinating wardrobe "looks" for daily wear, routine performances, on location and travel. Assistant is solely responsible for unsupervised packing and must be confident in their ability to coordinate very stylish looks from Artist's existing wardrobe...



A detail oriented problem solver who takes initiative, can prioritize and follow through. A decision maker and situational thinker. Needs to grasp things quickly and work well with and without direction. A good memory is necessary. Must be proactive and able to think on your feet...



Help Artist to prepare for movie auditions... Be a willing ear to listen to Artist new creative developments while creating new music projects.



Handle daily personal needs for the Artist including all meals, shopping and multiple errands as necessary, etc.



Oversee the maintenance and upkeep of multiple residences as well as Artist Automobile(s).



Must be comfortable navigating throughout the Los Angeles Area with the ability to give directions including short cuts.



Must be up to date on the most exclusive restaurants, shops and entertainment venues in the Los Angeles and surrounding areas.



Resourceful in navigating throughout foreign cities to handle errands as necessary.



MINIMUM 2 years as a Celebrity Personal Assistant or Personal Assistant to a HIGH NET WORTH INDIVIDUAL...



You should naturally possess a nurturing, compassionate and very personable disposition...



Applicant must have a reliable automobile with insurance...



This position is very demanding and requires 24/7 attention to the job. Must be able to travel and work between various environments often and sometimes for indefinite periods of time. This person will be on call EVERYDAY, working long hours...



Applicant MUST... sign a confidentiality agreement and can commit to at least 2 years as a Personal Assistant after which various opportunities for advancement will become available.

How to apply:

PLEASE SUBMIT THE FOLLOWING…



Three (3) photos of yourself dressed in three different wardrobe looks that express "Your Personal Sense of Style."...

Three (3) songs/musical selections that you consider to be Urban Classics...

Three (3) movies of your choice that you feel are or will be considered classics that every serious Actor should see...

Compensation:

Salary UP TO $1000 PER WEEK NET (depending on experience). Artist pays all taxes on salary.



Additional compensation is available via bonuses which is based on performance.



THE PERKS ARE AMAZING!!!

[Craigslist]