• Britney Spears asked California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger, through like 10 intermediaries, why he couldn't free her from the mental hospital like he did with Sarah Connor in the second "Terminator" movie, all because Maria Shriver was accidentally nice to her in the lobby of the Beverly Hills Hotel and now Britney thinks they're all friends. [Gatecrasher]
• A hospital in Long Island is running special drills to protect J. Lo's forthcoming baby from kidnapping, because that's the sort of society you chose to create. [TMZ]
• Someone is sending Jennifer Aniston a $200 bouquet. Every. Single. Day. With a card. It could be Angelina Jolie continuing to taunt Aniston's lack of reproduction, but probably? She's sending them to herself. Brad is still not jealous. [ShowbizSpy]
• The mother of 50 Cent's 10-year-old son wanted $50,000 per month in child support, she's getting $6,700. Finally, 50 Cent catches a break. [NYP]
• The most awesome magazine in the world for hispanic women, Latina, awards "The John Leguizamo Award for Bad Acting (movies)" to John Leguizamo, plus "Grey's Anatomy" gets the "I'd Rather Be Watching The Weather Channel Award For Worst TV Show Of The Year." [Gatecrasher]
• Scarlett Johansson hates Us Weekly "after that [plastic surgery] cover you did," leaves sad reporter in the dust, clueful. [Gatecrasher]
• The young son of two celebrity actors, Farrah Fawcett and Ryan O'Neal, is busted for "DUI and felony possession of heroin and cocaine at 3:20 am," which in Hollywood is basically a standard rite of passage. Congratulations, Redmond O'Neal! You're a man now! [NYP]

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