The awesome thing about the semen detector showcased on Fox Business News today is that you don't need to ever use it. If you bought one, your relationship is doomed, so go ahead and exchange it, unopened, for $50 worth of hard alcohol. Anchor Neil Cavuto, a smart and decent man who was somehow accidentally hired by Fox Business News, sees right through all this, but Brickhouse Security CEO Todd Morris, the satan of Valentine's Day, just won't stop selling. The product offers "peace of mind" for the suspicious spouse; the targeted spouse "will never know;" and of course a cheater can't be counted upon to tell the truth so you need to buy a test instead of having the courage to just end things. As Cavuto said at the end of the full segment, "that's sad, Todd, but your business is booming as a result." Heartwarming clip after the jump.

Longer video at Dealbreaker.

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