Gawker
Twelve minutes past midnight, Jennifer Lopez gave birth to a 5 lbs. 7 oz. baby girl, followed at 12:23 AM by 6 lbs. baby boy. The birth took place in a secure room of a Long Island hospital, hermetically sealed prior to J. Lo's arrival, guarded by security forces trained intensively in "pink drills" in recent weeks. The lockdown helps protect the $4 million to $6 million People magazine is paying for exclusive pictures of the kids, an exclusive that would be ruined by anyone lawfully and safely snapping a photo and sending it a competing media outlet, like say tips@gawker.com, which FOR A LIMITED TIME ONLY pays you $7.50 per 1000 views! Besides, J. Lo hardly needs the money, especially if she plans to practice the "tough love" she got from her own mom, as described in October to David Letterman:
Comments
is this thing working?
@the supergoddess: aha! it is! (and oh this is embarrassing! sorry ryan, wonderful news about jlo!) but no more pretty formatting buttons!
Their names are Jaime Sommers Lopez Anthony and Steve Austin Lopez Anthony, played by Lindsay Wagner and Lee Majors, respectively.
@the supergoddess: I know, right? But, still cool.
I love the way she speaks with the New York inflection. She's someone I'd sit and have a drink with.
@In Other News...: nice one...!!
I don't suppose that Jenny from the Blockwill be drinking malta on the sidewalk in the Bronx while her abuelo plays dominos.
Would you go $20 for some placental remnants?
The New York inflection--is there a vaccine for that?
Those kids will one day say, "Wow, my mom loved me so much, she sold photos of me looking like a slimy, pink ham when I was too young to beg her to not make me grow up into an over-exposed, narcisstic celebrity like her."
As far as I know, ratemypoo.com has no payment scheme.
@PRIsNotJournalism: That must be the college fund.
@yourfriendandneighbor: She's keeping it real, yo.
Wow. Relatively big twins. Good on them.
What if the boy looks like JLo and the girl looks like Marc Anthony?
@She Blinded Me With Omniscience: i don't know if i've ever seen a boy with an ass that big.
Were they born with switchblades?
@She Blinded Me With Omniscience: it's bad if they get any looks from M. Anthony...He looks like the Crypt Keeper.
@She Blinded Me With Omniscience: Then they would remain fairly hideous, like their parents.
For 6 million, I want pictures of where the babies came from.
That's certainly not the first time she's had two people between her legs.
david letterman is such a tool.
I believe that it was Jim Carrey who commented that he "knew her when her ass was too small."
What a chola.
don't flatter yourself jenny (from the block) - i wouldn't want a photo of any combination thereof that you and ghostly ghoul mark anthony could create.
Is acne hereditary?
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