Those Lopez kids are gonna be freaks. I can't wait!

A couple of years ago I read that J Lo had a special person whose sole job it was to tweak her nipples and get them hard before she went onstage. At the time I thought it was a tad exaggerated. Now, I dunno.

What's that Adnan packin'? You know he musta had some freaky sex with doped-up Brit Brit. My personal experience has been that these A-rabs generaly have an elephant trunk in their pants. Tell me baby girl, cause I need to know.

The Brits handout "boldface names" for people who date people who have dated famous people. Have they no standards?

J Lo installed all that stuff, but I don't recall hearing anything about feng shui. Without that, all she'll get on those closed circuit monitors is reruns of martial arts movies.

Could the twins' parents paint their own bedroom in some "talent boosting" colors?

I am glad she has all those bodyguards because those babies were born to be ignored. How many more days until we get our first official "JLO and hubby Marc Anthony at Socialista celebrating the birth of their twins with Tommy Mottola, Thalia, Patrick Ewing and Bobby Brown"?

What does she care how intelligent they are? Britney Spears has $20 million and she's dumb as a pile of rocks.

Drew Barrymore smokes way too much weed.

I understand JLo wants to protect her babies from the crazies of the world, but inviting six strangers into your home who will have direct access to your babies doesn't seem like the best idea to me. Who are these baby bodyguards? I am sure they were "screened" to some degree, but they are still strangers. I am assuming. Are they armed? What if JLo pushes them over the edge with her diva behaviour and they revolt?? Its six against two. (well, one and a half, Marc is so very frail.)

"Being introduce"?!?!?!

Since when have you gone ghetto?

And on top of that I'm sure they each have their own baby nurse, nanny and various assistants to tend to their every need. If they were wearing little baby veils and were white they would be Michael Jackson's kids.

@Michael Jahn: It's true, that's how I worked my way through college. It doesn't look great on a resume, but I now have the ability to perform tasks while being slapped and cussed at in Spanish.

Ah, celebrity gossip. Love it. So, I have no basis for this, but does anyone else think Marc Anthony might be a normal passenger on a crazy train? Maybe he's sort of like Rodney Dangerfield in Easy Money, sneaking off to the basement where his buddies are watching porn and playing cards. That's just the vision I'm getting.

You know, those photos of Angie are really beautiful.

Drew's brand of hippy-infused dumb never gets old.

Adnan's piece anyone?

Here's the money quote from the Arnold piece, though: 'Some of the female bodybuilders at the competition provided the weekend's highlight on Saturday night when they went to a local bar. According to a Page Six spy, "They started wrestling a bunch of midgets. It got nasty and went all night."'

Oh please someone have a phone film!

So she'll keep the germs, flowers, bad colors, etc. away from the kids, but the Scientologists make it through the gates?

In a perfect world, a virtually unknown Lopez would be carrying those babies with her on the 6.

@fiveinchtaint: I dunno... Wasn't his ex a Miss Universe? I'd be more inclined to believe that if had been married to his high school sweetheart, or something.

(On the other hand, I actually like his music, and I still feel bad for him that that Birdman musical or whatever-the-hell it was called was such a big flop. So there's that...)