Gawker
Mary Rambin is a fashion designer who is all about "liberating women" and who is the sister of actress and social hand grenade Leven Rambin, friend to sex columnist Julia Allison and recent recipient of a hilarious joke from her father in which a filthy starving homeless woman sets up a punchline about the importance of privileged wealth. Rambin illustrated the joke with the picture at left of the funny-looking brown woman. The joke is after the jump, along with a brief story about what Rambin said at this one party to this one girl who was all, "Bitch!"
My dad sent this joke to me today.
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.
I took out my wallet, got out ten dollars and asked, “If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?”
“No, I had to stop drinking years ago”, the homeless woman told me.
“Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?” I asked.
“No, I don’t waste time shopping,” the homeless woman said. “I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive.”
“Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?” I asked.
“Are you NUTS !” replied the homeless woman. ” I haven’t had my hair done in 20 years!”
“Well,” I said, “I’m not going to give you the money. Instead, I’m going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.”
The homeless Woman was shocked. “Won’t your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I’m dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.”
I said, “That’s okay. It’s important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.”
HAHA
Amazingly, these sorts of postings have not endeared Mary Rambin to readers. Here is a recent thread from comments on a story about Leven Rambin on the LiveJournal site Oh No They Didn't:
montspan
2008-03-05 09:31 pm UTC (link)
i went to high school with her sister, it's so weird that she's famous. her sister was not very nice.
(Reply to this)(Thread)
mhmmm
2008-03-05 10:02 pm UTC (link)
mary? i read her blog and she is SO elitist it's insane.
(Reply to this)(Parent)(Thread)
montspan
2008-03-05 10:18 pm UTC (link)
Yes! Elitist is the perfect word! I saw her last year at some party and she made some disparaging remark as to my haircut and then gave me a card so I could buy one of her handbags. Ugh. I was like, thanks, I haven't seen you in like 7 years, and you insult me? Bitch.
Comments
Who will she take to dinner to illustrate what a woman looks like when she has given up ethics, decency and her soul?
Oh. Ann Coulter.
Perhaps she finds it funny because she's not a natural beauty?
Let's get off the friends that have been sucked into the vortex of bad publicity. Lets talk more about JA- specifically her emails to JL telling him that he has the "chance to do the right thing" by buying her a MacBook Air.
There should probably be a "Douchebags" tag here.
Please tell me you made this whole thing up as part of Denton's plan to bring Julia Allison down.
These people are revolting. Did she really use that picture? I can't bring myself to click.
Down with Moë Bags! Up with 'mo bags!
Report came out yesterday saying there are fewer homeless people in NYC. Who will Daddy Rambin make fun of now?
@BettyCrocker: Or Julia Allison.
Maybe she's just hungry.
...or an elitist bitch. Either way.
More Mary Rambin pearls:
"This was my favorite picture of the night. Sometimes you just gotta grab the guitar and pose, ya know! Especially if you're wearing tall boots.
Confidence is style, it's a progection of your inner beauty. (Not to be confused with cockiness which is a progection of your insecurity.) If you've got confidence, usually anything will fly :)"
Totes.
Sorry, were we running low on useless, blonde celebutantes? Or is it just one body with interchangeable heads that some mad scientist unleashed on our unsuspecting planet?
Oh, no. Mary, Mary. Why ya buggin? This one here is clearly riding JA's coattails. How cute she has her own tumblr!
Why did I feel compelled to click through and look at some of her other postings? She's not only an elitist bitch, she spells "projection" with a "g."
@Yanee: progection [sic]. I'm not surprised.
@Dickdogfood: Or 'ho bags.
@Bell County: Douchehag?
I like this girl. I hope she can join me as I annex Poland.
She makes me want to progectile vomit.
If I were homeless and she prodded me, I would prod back forcefully with my grizzled homeless penis.
The woman on the right is totally more fun in bed.
Ah, we've moved onto Mary! The "stylist" who tells men to wear uggs, can't spell the name of most major American fashion designers, and the pusher of homemade-looking handbags who deems herself designer extraordinaire even if they all do look exactly the same. She's going on TV with Julia to give relationship advice (neither girl is in one, but y'know, they are just innately wise on this issue) since apparently one can now parlay being pretty into a myriad of expertises.
But really, I'm sure she is just such a nice person merely passing through JA's elaborately constructed hall of mirrors (windexed daily) so let's not mock her. Play nice!
We're all stopping by this hotspot too, right?
[baugher.tumblr.com]
How'd you lose your job, Al? Insider trading?
I'm joking.
@fiveinchtaint: Not sure what I'm progecting, but I think it's vomit or possibly handbags. I pray it's the former.
That joke is horrible - as in stupid, unfunny and just plain bad.
Mary, Mary, quite contrary, indeed!
I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner. I said "Hello Mary, I see you haven't recovered from your shit-bag business failing so dramatically in mid-2008. Shame you thought that crack den was a new, hip place to practise your insane cackling laugh. Nice to know you've got a boyfriend now, though - okay, it's a different one almost every 30 minutes, but you totally rock that combination STD look there. And no - I can't give you any money cos' you'll blow it all on food you won't eat anyway, you hilarious little crack-whore you"
@Ummwhat: Damn, beat me to it! Sloppy seconds it is.
@Calitri: @Ummwhat: Maybe she's into The Mars Volta, or the larger prog rock scene .
I'm disappointed in Miss Mary, though. I had a minor crush on her when I'd see her in photos on JA's tumb...er, when my girl friend would make me look at JA's tumblr.
@fiveinchtaint: J.A. should definitely cut this one loose. Associating with someone so blatantly asshole-ish and crassly insensitive would be bad for her career. Oh well -- at least Mary Rambin didn't shoot a puppy. Although, at this point, to discover her handbags were made with beagle pelts (by 5 year olds in a Malaysian sweat shop no less) would not be much of a surprise . . .
@J. Henry Waugh: I just blazed through this. There is a fairly large axe grinding on that tumblr. But, insightful...
Re Mary: One of the Vapid Trio, nothing more. Dumb skinny blond who puts out shitty handbags. She's latched onto the JA whirly twirl to promote her couture of crap.
I will bet my last dime that when either of her two cohorts find men of means, they are out of there faster than lightning.
I can't decide if my favorite part is how they (Jules and Mare-Bear) can't seem to stop taking pictures of each other like sugar-addled junior high-schoolers at the mall, or if it's the part where they both meticulously list what they're wearing in all photos of themselves. Because god knows, that's the real news.
Fuck the homeless, did you see my outfit from THURSDAY? Omg!
True Story: When I first heard about her I assumed Mary was Leven's mom. I guess this makes more sense.
It bears noting here that the Rambins = Texas oil $$$. Her grandfather ran Texaco in the 1960s.
@the-cubicle-dweller: I want to set them up on a totes awesome double date with JFP and Paul Janka. Then, we can have them spayed and nuetered!
That's a pretty lame joke. I'm sure her tumblr has an embarrassment of riches of stuff to re-post, but that's such a groaner. Dig up the real dirt, Ryan!
These girls are guilty of JUST NOT GETTING IT. That's a punishable offense in my book.
Honestly, I think she's super hot. And I like her blog.
@Ha Ha Sound: what exactly do you like about it? The witty writing rife with spelling and grammar errors? The condescending fashion tips? The plethora of staged photos identically posed? Really, just curious here.
She posted a lame response on her blog...
Give me a break--like we all haven't laughed at tasteless jokes that play off classist assumptions before. Off the high horse, please.
@azi: Ugh. Can you imagine the huge smile she has on her face right now? She's loving this. Massive narcissistic lady boner*.
*Lady boner copyrighted by Unfun.
@hunterw: That is really funny - so did I!
As someone else stated, Mary positions herself as an authority and yet doesn't care to properly spell the names of the brands correctly. Almost as moronic as all of JA's web 3.0 insights, as she makes a career taking pictures of herself on the way to do TV appearances.
I've decided to deal with it all by building a wee tiny jail cell in the center of my brain. And Margaret B. Jones and Julia Allison and now Mary Rambin and other worthless souls are all crammed in there, relentlessly pulling their schticks on each other for eternity (and Kruckoff! too.). It really does make me feel better.
@Yanee: Somehow I now know that she and Julia were fated to be BFF.
@hamburgerhotdog: I think that there are subjects worthy of hatred and scorn, but I don't think she's one of them.
I prefer to direct my negative energy towards Belgium. The entire country. It's useless and harmful.
I worry about her spelling of "projection", but still see her and her sister as perfect breeding stock.
For someone who jumps around on a glass table while in a bikini, despite being built like a preteen boy, she really shouldn't make fun of people who haven't had her advantages in life.
Then again, she's a "stylist" with atrocious taste, looks up to Julia Allison and makes Monica Lewinsky's handbags look like they belong in the Ferragamo store.
@Icarustoo: I assume you can afford to hire a nanny, a full time housekeeper, a CPA and a personal secretary, because if you procreate with either of these vapid dolts and can't, your beloved offspring will be eating nothing but Froot Loops in squalor and all your checks will bounce to Jupiter.
How is this for a delightfully backhanded compliment:
"Per usual Julia (Allison) was fashionably late to our dinner meeting at Zoe. She said she was very proud of her "Mary" outfit. Which I agreed that I loved it. When I asked her where she got her skirt, she wouldn't tell me. Then I instantly knew it was Bebe, ugh! But I have to admit it's cute (and you really can't even see the detail….it is actually really nice."