So, "pH levels" now stands for "pharma levels". Yum.

I hope this makes my boobs bigger.

I'm not convinced this isn't some clever ploy to get young adults to enjoy tap water.

No wonder I drink at a gallon a day.

Clearly, it's The Terrorists. Flushing birth control pills down the porcelain throne to (oh no!) further feminize NYC.

@Michael Jahn: Your tits are fantastic, Michael - don't let anyone else say anything different.

Anyway - we've had these scare stories in the UK for about 10 years now, and it's nothing to worry about. Our gill-people are doing fine, and are slowly being re-introduced into society via a catch-and-release policy.

uh oh! I was just watching a CSI re-run where the same thing happened. Look out for trouts, broken beer bottles and middle aged men trying to express feelings.

So what do I need prescription coverage for?

In Orlando, we have at least one "feminized" mouse. Perhaps this is of national concern?

Sure, the water may be turning you into hyped-up, overfeminized zombies, but it makes the pizza delicious.

This freaky, alarming story was brought to you by AP/Poland Spring.

AP has been on a funny right-wingy jag lately, though. Their Nedra Pickler is a one woman crap-machine for exaggerated, ghastly attacks on Obama and/or Hillary, taking disparaging comments from Republicans that end up as substance-free "eye-bites" you see in the corner of your screen as AP "news" reports.

"San Francisco showed elevated levels of female hormones"- I cannot believe I read this one-sentence paragraph from the AP water report; it seemed to imply that the overwhelming number of trannies in SF were endangering the water supply (which comes from upstate via the cutely named Hetch-Hetchy viaduct, actually.)

But AP was also the shrill disseminator last month that gays in the Castro were busy giving each other flesh-eating MRSA infections for fun, in drastic headlines. No one read the abashed follow- ups by the actual scientists when they stated actual infections were comparable to high-school and college football players nationwide- THAT didn't get a frantic headline.

In short, Associated Press sounds awfully like a trusted name in news, a non-partisan tickertape, but they've increasingly been observed serving up a lot of dubious data wildly skewed.

@Arundel: The fact is that there are abnormal levels of estrogen in our drinking water, in our foods (especially chicken and beef), and in our plastics (thus making Poland Spring just as unsafe as the tap water, if not moreso). There are also traces of drugs, antibiotics, and all manners of heavy metals.

It has nothing to do with trannies, the gays, or any other scapegoat the media might want to blame. I agree with you on that. But it is problematic, nonetheless, and our fish aren't the only ones getting screwed over. Human male sperm counts have been declining drastically over the past few generations. Some scientists predict the complete elimination of the male sex as we know it within a few millenia.

Who's to blame? Chemical companies, mostly. And agribusiness. Half the plastics, fibers, and other synthetics we use in our daily lives have not been tested for pseudo-estrogenic and estrogenic effects. And God only knows how full of hormones and antibiotics we're pumping our cattle and chickens.

I knew there was more to my new man boobies than just canceling my Equinox membership.

Moodless in a jittery way, totally wussy...YES, this explains SO much about the men I dated in New York.

This is why people in New York are so laid back and steady...

P. S. Talk about socialized medicine! Free prescription drugs right from the tap. How are drug companies supposed to make a legitimate profit?

Enh. Of course there will be trace concentrations of these substances in the water supply. But if a trace, on a daily basis, was enough to tranquilize you, make your boobs grow (or keep you from getting pregnant, or regulate your hot flashes), or soothe your arthtritis, then ... nobody would need meds for anything, at least not at currently prescribed doses, the smallest of which are tens of thousands (hundreds of thousands? millions?) of times larger than "trace" amounts. Urban areas would be full of relaxed, voluptuous, ache-free citizenry. I don't think we peeps need to worry. Those flounder, on the other hand, will have a lot of psychosocial issues to work out.

Am I alone in noticing that rats in the NYC subway system, the city's most obvious "down-winders" of water impurity, have become weirdly fastidious about their grooming?

I've also noticed a very definite tautness about their eyes, or the "histrionic eyes" all too often associated with a certain class of gay male who frequents plastic surgeons.

Lord only knows what those rats are drinking in the subway tunnels, but it obviously isn't bourbon.

@Hamud: Between that and the fixed gear bikes. Thems some mighty tidy rats.

@Furious George: Right on about the plastics. Most manufacturers of baby bottles use polycarbonate plastic that leaches BPA (synthetic estrogen) into the formula when heated. And they can do it because the government allows a certain amout of toxic chemicals. It's disgusting.

Don't wear a tin foil hat, that's how they find the people who know what's going on.

Is my Brita water filter going to help here?

Men are unnecessary. They fused two mammal eggs years ago. The offspring can't have a Y chromosome.

I'm not promising it will end murder or rape or other dumb stuff...

You guys scooped CNN! Good work... eh, that's really no accomplishment these days. Back to work.

Mmmmm, ice cubes.

Birth control in the water. I love this planet.

But will tap water reverse male hair loss?

More diazepam, please.

What are we going to do about this!?

I am so disturbed!

I bet it's Bloomberg's follow up to eradicating saturated fats and cigarettes. He wants us all to calm down, stop drinking alcohol (side effects of the aforementioned drugs are decreased alcohol tolerance, etc.), and become super female-ish. This way New York culture is less hostile, less addicted to various things, and thin.

I think this is a conspiracy!