God-Like Barack Obama Wins Using Magical "Internet"

Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama on the cover of Rolling Stone (left) looks like nothing so much as an angel, or perhaps God Himself, with beams of light coming down all around him, a hopeful blue sky in the background (here's a clearer cover shot). The magazine endorsed Obama not only implicitly but also explicitly, comparing him to Abraham Lincoln in the process. The effusive coverage is hardly a surprise, given that Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner had said he wanted to "help get a good" Democratic presidential candidate for "change" elected, and that Hillary Clinton represented business as usual. He also donated money to Obama. But Wenner's stumping has spread to other media, including cable news network CNN. Check out this clip, in which a credulous CNN anchor, interviewing the author of Rolling Stone's cover story, is just amazed at the way this presidential candidate who is so popular with the kids has ingeniously used "social networking" on "the internet:"

11:57 PM on Sun Mar 9 2008
By Ryan Tate
1,681 views
30 comments

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semiserious at 12:08 AM on 03/10/08
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It's so easy to be God when the candidate you're running against has been made out to be the devil for the last 16 years. Why do the dirty work when its already been done for you? Leaves more time for making MySpace friends.
VirusWithShoes at 12:14 AM on 03/10/08
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I may have just seen the stupidest man on television. Who in fuck's name was the anchor? I've never seen him before in my life - can somebody sterilise him, if he hasn't been done already? I'm worried about him procreating. Not his actual offspring - I'm worried that he'll do something like set himself on fire trying to have the sexy with a lady.

Seriously. He went beyond stupid. Did he wander in from Fox? I'm intrigued. Anybody here know his name? I'm going to use it as a shortcut for being both loudly moronic and wilfully dense. Thanks in advance.
famousauthor at 12:15 AM on 03/10/08
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@VirusWithShoes: I could tell you his name, but then I might be arrested as an accomplice...
VirusWithShoes at 12:22 AM on 03/10/08
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@famousauthor: C'mon - it's 4.20am here, and I'm not going to bed until I find out. I really can't sleep tonight - it's fuckers like this that keep me awake during the night, and make me sleepy during the day...

Please??
shitty pitty at 12:24 AM on 03/10/08
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A Rolling Stone cover eh. Well that does it. Obama now the political equivalent of The Strokes.
Dickdogfood at 12:30 AM on 03/10/08
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@doodoo bandit: Actually, that sounds awesome: all we need now is to add the political equivalent of Christina Aguilera to get the political equivalent of "A Stroke of Genie-us."
phlox at 12:30 AM on 03/10/08
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Hrrrmph. Kids today with their fancy social networks like MyFace and SpaceBook.com. Why in my day...(onion/belt).
Look, this guy is NOT 85 yrs old for Dog's sake. Jesus, he's most likely still in his 30's. How the fudge are you THAT out of touch at such a relatively young age?
rosaluxembourgeoise at 12:31 AM on 03/10/08
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@VirusWithShoes:
The anchor is Okie von Muskogee, if I understood correctly. But it could've been "Bin" Muskogee, not sure.
phlox at 12:40 AM on 03/10/08
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@rosaluxembourgeoise: Are you sure? I could have sworn he said his name was Mike Hunt.
blakeley at 12:40 AM on 03/10/08
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@VirusWithShoes: The anchor is Rick Sanchez and he is an annoying ass who cuts all of his guests off like he's Bill O'Reilly

[edition.cnn.com]
phlox at 12:42 AM on 03/10/08
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Is that the dick that INTENTIONALLY got himself tased for a segment he was shooting?? Pffft. Say no more.
TedSez at 12:47 AM on 03/10/08
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I'm a little confused... Was the only place to link to a photo of this Rolling Stone cover Ricky van Veen's blog, right below the post where he predicts your murder?

Either he's fake Nick Denton, or you're trying to get the Secret Service on his butt. Or both. Frankly, it's hard to tell with all the drug-laced tap water I've been drinking.
blakeley at 12:50 AM on 03/10/08
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@phlox: Didn't many journalists do that in 2007? I don't think it got any better than Amanda Congdon...
phlox at 12:55 AM on 03/10/08
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@blakeley: Right. She was good, but Sanchez really screamed like a little girl.
I has no embedding skillz...
belltolls at 12:57 AM on 03/10/08
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I commend RS for a cover completely devoid of irony but Eric Hoffer is literally SCREAMING from my bookshelf.
blakeley at 01:00 AM on 03/10/08
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@phlox: Oh you are so correct, this is priceless, I remember now...

[www.thedailyshow.com]
phlox at 01:27 AM on 03/10/08
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Um, Ryan? Why are you spending so much time on Ricky Van Veen's blog? First you have a item about him (sorta) threatening to (sorta) murder Gawker contributors. Now you're sourcing him for the RS cover close-up pic. Are you cyberstalking him in retaliation? He does have that whole dorky/hot thing going on. Oh, wait. So do you. Nevermind.
Ed Lister at 01:57 AM on 03/10/08
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Someone buy it and please tell me he has done a rock-n-roll photoshoot inside.
Destonio at 01:58 AM on 03/10/08
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bess marvin, girl... at 02:36 AM on 03/10/08
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cause a rolling stone cover helped john kerry so much...
VirusWithShoes at 02:46 AM on 03/10/08
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@blakeley: Thanks. Noted.
SlickaNicka at 02:48 AM on 03/10/08
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"A New Hope" Star Wars Episode IV: Obama is Luke Skywalker, Hillary is Darth Vader, McCain is the Emperor, and Bill is....the wookie?
regisgoat at 07:44 AM on 03/10/08
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@phlox:onion/belt = bees/nickels?
VoxPopuli at 09:15 AM on 03/10/08
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Did he learn all his hand gestures from the Godfather movies? Except the air quotes, of course - those would (and should) get you whacked.
Jay-C at 10:20 AM on 03/10/08
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The way he says "magazine" makes me think reading is more a foreign concept to him than the internet is...
donmiguel at 10:42 AM on 03/10/08
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I've personally seen Obama levitate stuff with beams that shoot out of his eyes. And he can cure diseases with a handshake.
ambitious at 11:11 AM on 03/10/08
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"In Rainbows" was about Barack Obama.

I would certainly take Wenner's money on the weekends but I would try to keep him from telling the other kids at school that we were actually friends. He should have held out for a Spin cover, at least.
IronSheik at 02:03 PM on 03/10/08
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@semiserious: But she is the devil. Sometimes you just gotta call a spade a spade.

(waits for upper-class, white feminists to launch their attack)
sarahbm at 05:18 PM on 03/10/08
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I am SO god damn tired of the Obama campaign's messiah-complex. I used to be a Hillary supporter who would happily vote for Obama were he to get the nominaton; now, if it comes to it, I'll vote for him simply because he'll be the lesser of two evils on the ballot come November.
chuchobaby at 09:40 PM on 03/11/08
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let's bring this back to rick sanchez. he's an ass. first-class ass. he sucked in miami, he sucked at msnbc, and he sucks now. he's not a hottie girl, so g-d only knows why jon klein has him on the payroll.

as for his cluelessness about the internet: i think there's a movement to make sure all cnn anchors act as if they're from east bumfuck who know nothing about anything -- as if THAT will make viewers trust them for their news.

they live and work in atlanta. give me a fucking break.

okay, back to the bottle.