George Clooney Explains How Gay He Is, Exactly

  • Actor George Clooney Googled himself in front of Esquire and addressed the various rumors that popped up. On his alleged feud with Fabio: "There is a moment when you are actually in the argument and you're thinking, 'If I do get beaten down by Fabio, that will be far worse than the pain. I wouldn't shake that.'" On being called "gay, gay, gay:" "No, I'm gay, gay. The third gay – that was pushing it." [People]
  • At long last police and maybe the FBI are more concerned about a deranged fan hurting singer Britney Spears than about a deranged Spears hurting herself. A fan is sending sex toys, customized porn stories and a picture of himself with the eyes cut out and, in at least in one case, odd liquid squirting into his mouth. The letters maybe also had talk of bombs and the Middle East. And the only reason you're reading about this is that Spears hasn't gone on a crazy rampage and thus buried the news of her insane stalker. Yay?
  • Spears shouldn't worry too much about the crazy, since she has a cussy new bodyguard, seen here about to grope her.
  • Also, comedian Rosie O'Donnell made Spears one of those YouTube-esque fan mashups, with just the song "Calling you" by Patti Lupone and some still pictures of Britney. OMG, more of this, please, Rosie. [P6]
  • Someone not home with actress Heather Locklear called 911, worried she would commit suicide. When police arrived at her house, Locklear seemed fine so the emergency crews left. ShowbizSpy detailed her love life.
  • Heath Ledger left none of his assets to his daughter or her mom. [Sun]
  • Matt Damon and his wife Luciana are expecting another child. [Us]
  • An aggressive and determined Kimora Lee Simmons conceived another child for her Scientology army. Some guy was involved, but that seems beside the point.