Courtney Love Knows This Great Therapist, Britney

  • Singer Britney Spears reunited with desperate paparazzo Adnan Ghalib, who she had ditched after finding incriminating text chats with another girl on his iPhone. Just prior to taking Ghalib back, Spears was photographed bumping her head, hard. Post hoc ergo propter hoc, as Spears surely likes to say.
  • Spears faces two separate court-ordered shrink sessions in May to determine her level of crazy. In the meantime she gets an allowance of $1,500 per week, all she has to do is "a small legitimate project" that consists of showing up for a cameo on the TV show How I Met Your Mother.
  • Singer Courtney Love offered more advice to Spears, this time in the form of the world's least credible therapist referral.
  • When she wasn't giving advice, Love was filing a complaint with the police alleging that $69 million was embezzled from her through the theft of dead husband Kurt Cobain's social security number. The Nirvana frontman's good name was used to buy a New Jersey mansion just last year, Love said, and to open a bunch of credit cards. She's not sure the cops are taking her seriously but talked about it on YouTube so judge for yourself.
  • McNulty from the Wire, aka actor Dominic West, went to a Russian-owned New York strip club and got a "special lap dance" from one girl while another "nibbled at his ear." Which, as it turns out, is fairly close to a scene from an episode the Wire, but presumably without the cops busting in at the end. [P6]
  • After somehow managing to flag and obtain a taxi, Amy Winehouse arrived home to discover she didn't have enough to pay the cabbie, so a selfless paparazzo who had been stalking her stepped in to pay the difference. Awww. [P6]
  • Actress Angelina Jolie's lovely baby hump is bigger than ever, probably because it has been feeding on Jennifer Aniston's pain. [P6]
  • Former KISS bassist and notorious sex tape star Gene Simmons bawled "his eyes out" when his daughter walked on a catwalk for a modeling gig, then he shaved his head. No amount of salt water or shaving can ever make him clean, of course.
  • A VH1 comedian tried to make a joke about a passenger revolt while he was at the airport, and madcap fascism ensued, since air travel must continue to suck for the rest of our lives, or freedom will die. [P6]
  • Heroes star Hayden Panettiere... something about underage drinking... I'm sorry was I saying something? Her picture distracted me, a little. [P6]
  • The lesbian daughter of the guy who used to run Yahoo, Terry Semel, is totally dragging Lindsay Lohan down. [P6]