Britney's Medical Records Guarded Better Than Nuclear Secrets

• UCLA Medical Center is in the process of firing at least 13 workers who snooped on Britney Spears' medical records around the time the singer was admitted to the hospital's psychiatric unit Jan. 31. Other workers face discipline, including six physicians who also snooped on the digital files. Most couldn't get near the juicy stuff because the psych records are sealed off more tightly than regular medical records. Which is nice, but this is the same university that lost national nuclear secrets at Los Alamos (and elsewhere). Glad to see the University of California has its priorities straight!
• Former Spears hanger-on Sam Lutfi promised to stay away from the singer for another month. But he didn't say anything about not somehow drugging her, ha HA! [Reuters]
• Madonna has been married to Guy Ritchie for seven years. At this point, they have independently furnished their own wings of their shared London home. Guy doesn't bother to show up when the singer raises money for Malawi or gets inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame. Plus she's probably still doing that annoying faux British accent thing. So of course they are rumored to be close to a divorce, and New York is going to get Madonna back, so start planning your welcome party now. [Sun]
• This is how bad things have gotten for singer-disaster Amy Winehouse: She is getting advice on how to clean up her act from Keith Richards. [Showbiz Spy]
• Halle Berry, 41, just had a 7 lb 4 oz baby girl. And the actress apparently did so without having her own secure wing of the hospital and without loads of insane advice from a Scientologist, like J. Lo. [Star]
• Socialite Paris Hilton's boyfriend makes something called "pop punk," and of course she loves this very wrong thing, so she is touring with him, Benji Madden, and his band, Good Charlotte. Luckily, it sounds like no long-distance driving will be necessary. [HollyScoop]
• Model and walking cautionary tale Kate Moss is getting married to — scratch that, says she will marry — Kills frontman Jamie Hince. "They think he is a good influence and keeps her grounded." [Showbiz Spy]
• A team of British surgeons think they can save actor Patrick Swayze with an experimental new surgery. The made their announcement in the medical journal Sunday Express, "the World's Greatest Newspaper." [Daily Express]
• Here are some pictures of model Claudia Schiffer shopping in SoHo. (She went to Marc Jacobs, duh.) [Splash]
• Ha ha, names are funny. Minnie Driver: ""My friend sent me an email saying I should call the baby Duncan Driver." [Sun]

Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.

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