Anyone ever watch those episodes of 'Nature' when the water buffalo is staggering in the dry savannah and the vultures and hyenas are sitting and waiting patiently for it to finally keel over and give up? Yeah, exactly.

I have a fond recollection of being sacked at one rag and replaced by a woman who was $20k cheaper. Even she saw the injustice. Didn't turn the job down, though. At least they didn't ask me to train her.

@thomasrz: Nice metaphor. I'm actually currently a tick in the beak of an oxpecker on a metaphorical water buffalo's back... and thinking this might be a good time to leave. Isn't there an aphorism about ticks leaving a sinking water buffalo?

Why don't they just turn it into a blog and call it a day?

@Koreanish: A fine idea. The Zell Times has a zing of a ring! The crazy old man could post a video "commentary" every morning when he would tell one of his bloggers to "fuck off."

Sounds like what happens in every industry, no? Let's hope they made some good investments!

@Mike_Jahn: A friend of mine was once replaced by a three-fer: a handicapped Hispanic woman. At a liberal, socially conscious university.
So the chairman of the department could hire two more white males.

"Hi class, I'm Professor Zell. Oh, you guys already know who I am? Well fuck you too. Now, okay, who wants the wood today? Jenny? Okay, Jenny it is. What is it, Bobby? What? Don't cry. If you wanted front page, you needed to raise your hand quicker. What? I know, you did the sports report yesterday, and the day before. But it's Jenny's turn. She needs this for her clips! You can have the front page tomorrow, okay? Okay. Jenny - for today's front page story, we're going to have you do an analysis of reality TV, okay? I have an interview with Lauren Conrad set up for you. What's that? No, no need to go to her in person, over the phone is fine. And here's a list of questions you can ask, okay? Make sure you get number three in there - 'What is your favorite color?' That's a good answer to get. Don't use a notepad, we can't afford spending $5.99 at Staples for fucking notebooks just because 'doing it from memory' is too fucking good for you guys. And, we'll get the photos off TMZ.com. Or just Google it, okay? Let's give the photo desk a break. In fact, you know what? Marlene? Have you guys met Marlene? She's my secretary. Ah, a fine piece of ass. HAH! Just kidding, Marlene. I said I was fucking kidding! Don't fucking look at me like that. Now, get this Post-It to the photo desk. Can you write this down? 'You're fired.' Here you go. Go on, get it over to photo! Thanks. That fucking Marlene, fine piece of ass, not too smart though. Anyway! Who wants to cover, um, let's see. Who wants to cover politics? Politics? Politics anyone? All right, fuck it. Can anyone draw comics? I fucking love the funnies."

@In Other News...: Ha! Classic! Somehow I can't find appropriate clips from The Hudsucker Proxy or Spider-Man to illustrate. But awesome none the less.

@Ian Spiegelman: Now off to renovate my basement!

@SneakingThroughTheAlleyWithLalley:

if journalists were smart enough to make good investments, they would not have become journalists in the first place.

@In Other News...: God, it's like opera, that one.

@MrInBetween: It would be like the total opposite of the Huffington Post.