While we're at it, can we get Social Services to help The Boxcar Children?

What percentage of the gawker audience do you suppose watches the Hills? Or Gossip Girl(s)? Is it something like 50%? Am just curious.

Can't we focus obsessively on Mad Men?

Okay, that is positively wretched. And yet completely predicted by commenters in the earlier thread on this. Jesus.

I don't watch the Hills. I had no idea what it was until last night when my roommate filled me in. Then we watched "Real Housewives" or something of the sort. Yikes. And yes, the Boxcar children need help. Please help them- and not with solving any damn mysteries.

Wow. This makes me so sad. In grade school when my two best friends became rexy, I totally clung to the fact that those twins were perfect at size 6. Also: how is a wrangler better than a spyder??

This reminds me of when Allure ran "Size Eight? How to Look Size Four!" and I thought it couldn't get any worse. But a Wrangler will never, ever outrank a Fiat. Pah! Suburbanites!

Of course, I have a secondhand Trixie Belden where she buys her first girdle, so I guess the more things change the more they stay the same.

@mrs. rogers: Not ONLY are they living like hobos, but they're putting themselves in danger by doing the job that the Police SHOULD be doing.

since she now works on the school website and not the school newspaper will SVH be available in a podcast or for download online??

Ok, forgive me for getting all sincere and Jezebel-ly for a minute, but speaking as a parent, it really pisses me off that Random House Children's Books not only goes out of its way to encourage anorexia by re-defining the "perfect" clothing size for girls from 6 to 4, but also proudly trumpets that revision in a press release.

Hey, Random House Children's Books: What the fuck?????

The Hardy Boys are rough trade now and occasionally date Marc Jacobs .

1983

The Twins died in a terrible car accident

2008

The Twins died in a botched quadruple implant surgery

Kathy and Noreen probably have to absconce and "cut" after they sign letters like this. Not exactly what NOW has in mind when they boast female managers...

Also: Thought the change is horrible symbolically, in reality a 1980s size 6 was/is nearly the equivalent of a 2008 size 4. During the last 20 years we've experienced size deflation to accompany waistline inflation. Don't ask me how I know this.

@heartbreakturnip: I was about to say the same thing. Is it even true? IS THIS HOW WOMEN WORK I DON'T KNOW

I also hope they'll be smoking Meth in the Girl's Room and giving ten-dollar blowjobs at recess behind the monkey bars.

@Nick Douglas:

Isn't it fucking awesome to size yourself based on the actual number of inches as opposed to some stupid abstracted number? High five.

@ADismalScience: If you were a woman, that would be a high two. High zero, if you were ready to lay out good money.

In the 2008 version, The Baby-Sitters Club becomes a covert name for a high-priced prostitution ring, including members "Kristy," "Mallory," "Stacy" and sweet "Mary Anne."

@PRIsNotJournalism: I don't know; I've always been sort of a Claudia girl, myself. Is she available?

This just makes me sick. I remember when I got to be a size 6 in college and was soooo happy because that was "the perfect size." So am I supposed to be grateful that my ideal size growing up was a little more attainable? Sick. These books are for elementary and junior girls. Sell your anorexia somewhere else Random House.

I was always under the impression that the Wakefield twins were supposed to be really pretty. Not horse-faced, direct-to-DVD versions of Paris Hilton like Leven Rambin.

@ChicaBarnfell:

Oh come on. Don't get sour grapes just because they moved the finish line! Like you'll really notice if you reduce breakfast from 3 almond shavings to 2.

Do the twins aspire to work at Conde Nast? Apparently so, but they would need to drop a couple more sizes. For shame, Random House, for shame.

P.S. -- Shouldn't the last sentence in the first paragraph of this press release read "...it was rare to find a teenage girl WHO wasn't reading about the trials and tribulations of [modern day fatties] Jessica and Elizabeth Wakefield..." as opposed to "THAT" wasn't reading about said trials and tribulations? Not just silly and anorexia-inspiring, but just plain sloppy, too. Send your press release writers and copy editors back to class, Random House, and make sure they eat something before attempting to write and/or edit...

@foolinthepool: YES. Thank you.

I just don't even understand why this is something they had to revise. Is the difference between a size 4 and size 6 something so drastic as to take away from the plot lines of a tween/teen book?

What's next - will they change Little House on the Prairie stories? Instead poverty and lack of food in a devastating winter being a negative, now it'll be a positive for Laura!

Well, at least they're not a size zero?

Just three eight balls shy

I just heard that Alice is in rehab and Gretel's in O.A.

I'm a perfect size AWESOME.

So wrong. So very wrong.
I'm afraid to see what some of the other changes might be.

"This Spring, the Wakefield twins will lumber their size 6 way through another caper! The clues are thick and heavy in this oversize book, when murder comes down hard at the local gym. Was it the aerobics teacher? Or perhaps a disgraced marathon runner? The twins can barely keep up! Still, they tear into this case like a bag of Doritos and stuff themselves with intrigue, wedging themselves uncomfortably into tight situations. They'll feel the squeeze when an athletic wear designer mistakes them for his models, and things swell to a massive crescendo aboard a blimp when Jessica finds yet another bloated corpse and an ungainly mass of evidence pointing towards someone they least expect. This one's big, folks -- really big -- so be the first at this all-you-can-eat buffet of mystery!"

@Colonel Mustard: Mustard, you're the bestest.

B-b-butt, a size 6 then *is* a size 4 now. Dang vanity sizing strikes again. Sheesh, if they're going to step up the anorexia stakes, at *least* whittle them down to a 2. For the send-'em-reaching-for-the Adderall coup de gras, go for 0.

@LilyBonesBurana: You don't really mean "coup de gras", do you? Because you know the difference between "grâce" and "gras", right, and in particular that "gras" means "fat"? Or perhaps you are wickedly funny!

Oui, ma petite gaufre, I pun in ze Fronch! (Mme. Levy will be so happy to know I wasn't sleeping through her class those three years).

Now my goal is to rewrite dirty limericks, replacing "Nantucket" with "baguette," and reworking all the rhymes. Oh, and to stalk Carla Bruni.

i feel sorry for kids today. they get this type of message at the same time that they're bombarded with ads for mcdonalds, doritos and coca cola. and earnest news reports about childhood obesity. i wonder if noreen and kathy have kids.

it seems so not-with-it that they would point out the size difference.

I wonder if Elizabeth is still "four minutes older... but sometimes it feels like four years"?

Six, four, it all seems just as unattainable when you're a kid who melts cheese on a plate and then eats it. Might as well call them perfect size UNICORNS.

@collegecallgirl:

I hate that I know this, but wasn't Lila Fowler a Unicorn in those books?

If this was an attempt to make me vomit up breakfast in order to work my way towards a "perfect size 4," mission accomplished.

I am so glad that I already own every Sweet Valley High book ever made and will never need to buy any of these sad, sad reiussues.

@heartbreakturnip: I know it because I've been able to wear a size 8 since high school, and yet my ass has gotten larger every year.

@LilyBonesBurana: Well done, then. Carla will fear you.

I wonder what size Claudia Kishi was? That fattie was always hiding Ho Hos in her room.

and far be it for Random House to ask young girls to aspire to drive an environmentally friendly car...

@winniecooper: Hahaha. Like a 7? Whale.

Yes, unfortunately, Sweet Valley High looks to be a not-so-subtle promulgation by Random House of lookism or physical attractiveness phenomenon or, as it might also be called, it's good to be beautiful and it is better to be more beautiful. This promulgation again reinforces the popular cultural value that thinner body builds or smaller body sizes equate with greater physical attractiveness.

At the same time, even though this story jumps 25 years from 1983 to 2008, the basic message concerning good looks and not so good looks these past 25 years has remained rather consistent. As the unfortunate reality continues to be communicated, or reflected, by mass media, smaller sizes, particularly for women and girls of all ages, are more attractive and thus more valued than larger sizes. In turn, people will pursue that more valued look, be it young girls or their parents, regardless of the cost that can be measured in terms of money, self-esteem, and health.

Dr. Gordon Patzer
author of "Looks: Why They Matter More Than You Ever Imagined"
[www.GordonPatzer.com]

The twins drove a purple Jeep in the original books though...they bought it after Liz crashed the Fiat during one of the 47 junior proms they attended