So you already knew about Mary Rambin's forthcoming reality show with fellow famous-for-nothings Julia Allison and Megan Asha. But did you know about her old, canceled, kind-of-sad reality show for ABC, One Ocean View? No? Well, don't feel bad, Google didn't know she was in it either. And Mary doesn't seem to talk about it much, probably because it was cancelled after just two episodes and, conveniently, her last name was never attached to the credits. But looking at photos and video from the two-year-old-show, it's not hard to figure out who the 24-year-old socialite handbag designer was. And then suddenly reading old reviews of a canceled show becomes a little fun! Also, there's a preview video with lots of Mary:
Here is how the Times described Rambin's experience in its review of the show, which was set in a Fire Island summer share:
The other characters on the show, chronicling a summer in the life of New York professionals sharing a weekend place on Fire Island, include a delicate-looking handbag designer named Mary, who instantly develops a crush on K. J., who owns two health clubs. Alas, K. J. likes "ethnic" looks, as he tells the group; Mary is fair and blond.
According to FireIsland.com, Rambin looked like her "heat [was] crushed" by KJ's statement, but still put some moves on him in the second (and, uh, final) episode:
KJ, mister smooth, wheeled in some massive cooking apparatus to "cook Mexican" and was greeted with a kiss on the cheek from Mary. She is all over KJ, for sure, but he's keeping his distance – either he has no interest whatsoever, or he's working a Player's opening gambit of seduction. Most likely the former, because Mary seems so smitten with KJ that no seduction strategy would be necessary.
Finally, if you way too much time on your hands, TVGasm.com did in-depth recaps of the both episodes. The first one included the tidbit that Rambin was fresh off a failed long-term relationship and, to her credit, was an early and vehement hater of requisite male douche Usman. Also, she is into blonde and short guys but will settle for whatever else comes her way:
First up Miki tells us about Mary, who designs handbags. Miki thinks she's a "Cool chick, but she's had her heart broken recently..."
You know, I know Usman is supposed to be the "shallow pretty boy" character we're supposed to love to hate on this show, but he's so over the top with this stuff it just makes me look at him with more of a bemused detachment than anything else. Mary however is having the opposite reaction. She can't stand him and is bitching to the other girls she can't take much more of him. So much so that we almost get our first fight of the show. Unfortunately it just creates a slightly tense exchange of words, instead of a big fight...
Mary looks on lovingly as when she sees KJ being nice to the 2 year old she realizes that this means he "likes kids..."
When Usman then asks Mary what her romantic plans are for the summer, she says she is "open to anything and everything that comes my way..."
Mary tells Miki that the guys she is attracted to are blonde and short. "So you're attracted to KJ?" she says. Well, yes technically physically he is her type and so on and so forth. God I love it when drunk people try to talk about romance and relationships...
KJ and Mary, you see, slept together last night. But not the kind of sleeping together where certain things were inserted into other things. It was more of the cuddling all night kind of sleeping together. At least as far as ABC has led us to believe.
In the second episode, the recapper turns kind of vicious on poor Mary:
The show opens with our voiceover narrator. But this week instead of the painfully stilted Miki, we hear from Mary, the blonde girl with a thing for KJ. And she is equally awkward at voiceovers. James Earl Jones she ain't. She gives us a little recap of the first episode which is basically Zack and Lauren fighting, Usman looking for some play, and Mary? "I'm here looking to find love" she says. "I kinda liked KJ at first, and then Lauren moved in"...
A new houseguest is coming to town! ...After a brief shot of Mary, the small chested blonde, giving her a dirty look she tells everyone she is from Pennsylvania...