Ryan, what's up, this is Jason Preston calling. Umm, I'm calling on behalf of, I guess the column or whatever in Gawker.com, I guess you sent something in saying you saw me on the street today with a whole bunch of shit.

First of all, I just had my gym bag, that's all I had, a little, small, little Louis Vuitton gym bag.

And number two, my boots, they are $2,0000 fucking [unintelligible brand] boots, brah.

And three, as in the words of Lil' Kim, you should get your facts straight or Shut Up, Bitch, because you don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

Preston later said someone had just handed him my cell phone number and told him I was the tipster, and that I should "ignore the text message," which is probably even better but has yet to arrive.