George Clooney Won't Be Told When To Dump His Girlfriend

• An anonymous caller told George Clooney about his new girlfriend Sarah Larson, "Dump the bitch before you're sorry." Clooney got his off-duty-cop chauffeur to have the call traced, but it was made from a pre-paid cell phone and they can't figure out who bought the phone. Also, the Sun found a supposed ex-boyfriend of Larson who said Larson had "special love potions."
• Jennifer Lopez wants Tom Cruise to be her twins' godfather and convinced her husband Marc Anthony to go along with the plan. Perfect. Also, the kids' christening outfits cost $200,000. [Showbiz Spy]
• Kitten-and-puppy-hating liar Paris Hilton isn't going to participate in the casting process for her supposed new Best Friend Forever. Surprise, surprise. [P6]
• Talk show host Oprah Winfrey cried on her show over pictures of her dead dog. "I’ve got to get myself together... We’ll be right back." [Splash]
• Rapper Jay-Z married Beyoncé in his New York apartment Saturday, according to Mary J. Bilge, who is on tour with him. [Showbiz Spy]
• Singer Amy Winehouse is going to give her incarcerated husband Blake an album of very special love songs written just for him, and he is going to sell that album for drugs. [Showbiz Spy]
• For her recent incident at the airport, model Naomi Campbell may be barred from British Airways for life.
• Comedian Joan Rivers said of Victoria Beckham, "I dislike Victoria Beckham... Calm down, you were a Spice Girl." [HollyScoop]

Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.

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