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    Photo To Poors: Suck It

    "Hello? Is this Paul? Oh, hey, it's John in the Times photo department. So, thanks for agreeing to be the human face of indifferent plutocracy amid economic ruin. Well, I wouldn't call it an honor, per se. Some people didn't want to be in the article. No, seriously, Cayne asked us not to mention the naked violinist orgy thing. I know, nuts. Anyway, could you park a few of those exotic cars you mentioned right out front, in the driveway? We want the photo to look like something out of a rap video, or a Sopranos promo. What's that you say? A yellow convertible? Perfect! Hey, are there any homeless people in your neighborhood we could maybe frame in the corner of the picture? No? Oh well. At least pick out a really pimpin' tie, OK?" [Times]


    Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.