good gracius [sic], poor ignatius

apologies to all the iggys out there

Yes Alicia, Karl Rove is a card-carrying member of NWA.

No, the government created public housing first, which then led to black people killing each other, which then led to gangsta rap. So I guess she's sorta right, no?

I always knew Dick Cheney was a hardcore cop-hatin Motherfucker.

Ignatius? Oh Cate. I expected more from you. And this is coming from someone who was throwing around Zeke as a boy's name.

Also, does anyone else find it weird that Sting paid that much for a SECOND apartment? Isn't he Mr. Philanthropy? Maybe it's just me but if I were out there making a big deal out of giving, I wouldn't throw down almost $30 mil on another apartment.

Alicia gives the government more credit than it deserves. You think anything as massive as that master plan could be so successful? If so you have spent time in a government cheese line.

Alicia by chance do you worship Xenu?

If our government invented a music genre, it would sound like an anime kitten falling down a flight of stairs while entangled in a Slinky.

As for Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. being "leaders" - I think they were a little too busy writing angry noise and buying jewelry to lead. Hardly the fault of either Clinton.

It's amazing what a few crappy "adult contemporary" hits can buy these days.

@BettyCrocker: I always thought it would have sounded like Strong Bad

@valarmorghulis: Totally on the money!

This is just Sting's sumner home.
(Oh gosh, I'm sorry. It's too early for that, even for me.)

The feds could be promoting gangsta rap in hope of bringing back the gold standard.

Anyone care to raise the level of the fedz killa rappa conspiracy exponentially? (And why not, it's Monday and we have a long week ahead orf us.) The woman who produced and directed "The Message," the landmark rap video with Grand Master Flash & the Furious Five that inaugurated socially consious rap? Jewish. I have a 3/4" inch dub off the master.

Come to think of it, she also produced and directed the video of "It's Raining Men," so maybe the geighs are in on this conspiracy too.

Yes Alicia, you got it. You should hear Rappin Rove and Cool Mo D Cheney. Their loop music is fits of giggles neatly overlayed by the NOLA levee bombing. Bushkilla only spins background, no vocals.

Somebody stabs Adnan Ghalib and all I can think is "good!" Did anyone see those disgusting interviews he did for Access Hollywood (I think it was them)? Disgusting human being.

@BalknChain: Hey, you. Happy new week.

I had an Uncle Ignatius. We called him....wait for it...."Uncle Nutsie."

For serious.

@Mike_Jahn: Hey you, it has not started off as well as I would like, but it'll get better :)

@fileunder: I'm groaning at myself for getting the joke.

@BalknChain: Sorry, especially since you're not into enjoying angst the way I am.

Alicia has a huge flaw in her theory. The government is made up of white men who I like to think all look like Dick Cheney (ala Agent Smith in "The Matrix"). I highly doubt they can came up with lyrics like:

"Fuck tha police
Comin straight from the underground
Young nigga got it bad cuz I'm brown
And not the other color so police think
They have the authority to kill a minority."

I'm a little more inclined to believe Ice Cube wrote it...

Well, we already know Rove has got mad skilz:

+ Watch video

"I put the nigga in his casket and now they covering the bastard in plastic.
I smoke blunts on the regular, fuck when it counts, tryin to make a million dollars out a quarter ounce"

That's some great leading right there...

I would have thought it common knowledge, but there is proof:

+ Watch video

@Goober_Pea: arg.

Alicia, you're so wrong about that. If the government really wanted to kill black people they could've created a war, or let them die in the aftermath of some natural disaster. Wait...

@Spirit Fingers: Right!

@Spirit Fingers:

If, say, a guy, any guy, laughs so hard that he experiences a little urinary incontinence -- nothing major, mind you, just some fairly noticeable dampness -- do you think he maybe needs a consult with a urologist?

Alicia Keys' theory is intriguing enough. Gangsta rap encourages Black people to kill each other.

But no way could our government, especially the current administration, have been so effective.

Alicia Keys can say whatever she wants.

@Hamud: As long as you aren't caught driving 400 miles in a Depends undergarment hoping to kick some girl's ass, then I'd think you'll be okay.

I think a first edition of Confederacy of Dunces would be a nice baby present, don't you? Although--let's hope none of the kid's schoolchums will have read it.