Can we assume that it was not John Mayer who wound up with David Hasselhoff's groupies?

sad little cupcakes left out in the rain

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: The M&M toppings are kinda cute, though.

@Mike_Jahn: heh. ur up earleee 2day

question: so what did people like that used 2 do before the intratubz made it so easy?

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: woikin' out.
I was just thinking that Posh's tatoo is the name of her plastic surgeon.

@Mike_Jahn:

poor branding for him

@if_i_only_had_a_heart: Dear Heart: absolutely perfect description. One thing about Paris--she's not afraid of having old-lady tits. Fearless.

@annasballs: If you can't hold them between your knees they're not ...

@Mike_Jahn: they have to start out like Dagmar's to wind up hanging down that far. Paris's have always been sad little sodden cupcakes, and will be in her no-less-skanky and skinny 90s.

In Re: 12yo Boob job, British=Gross.
In Re: Beckham Family Circus, British=Stupid. Also Tattoo=Not Jewish.
In Re: Paris Nipple, British=Won't count in the finals.
In Re: Wentz/Simpson, Barf=Retch.

Well, some of us still like cupcakes.

This is all pretty dull. I was hoping someone would nail the pope as client #10.

@skahammer: More so if they can waltz

@NotAndersonCooper: Unlikely if those hookers weren't 12-year-old boys.

@skahammer: Last month I got two pretty good sticky buns at the Chicago Hilton.

@Mike_Jahn: Foreal, I use that video now to cheer me up when my spirits are low.

I guess that comes out to about four times a day.

@Mike_Jahn: Uh, the cupcakes video, that is.

I'm sure that was clear anyway.

Paris Hilton is wearing a shirt. For her, that's not even demure. She's downright buttoned up.

If these celebs want to be targets of attention so much can we just ship them to Iraq?

@skahammer: I scrolled back to be sure that's what you meant.

@PRIsNotJournalism: Ummm....dad?

@Mike_Jahn: Showing more scrupulosity in re: sourcing than your average LA Times reporter on the hip-hop beat. Well done.

I, for one, am sick of Paris Hilton's nipples.

@Helman: Well maybe you're just sick of nipples, did you ever think of THAT?

It's nice to know Paris' eye-opening experience in jail has continued to make her a better, nicer and more philanthropic person.

Why has poor diet friendly cottage cheese been reduced to describing celluite. There needs to be an affirmative action plan for shining the halo of God and Diets back on to cottage cheese. Cottage cheese should be remembered for all the good it has done for asses globally. Let us describe fat asses by using the foods that probably did enlarge them like McFatass, The King's Ass, Too Many Frosties Ass, Moons Over My Hammy Ass, Pizza Slut Ass, etc. I will be printing Stop Cottage Cheese Ass t-shirts today if anyone would like to order.

Now that she's wearing a tee shirt with her name on it, she doesn't seem so publicity shy.

@BalknChain: Goobers Butt?

@Mike_Jahn: I mean, I mean, I mean I was suggesting that as the name of the condition.

@Valerie Flame: She needs that shirt to remind her of her name. On the tops of her shoes her assistant has written, "Put this one forward," and "Now this one. Repeat," in really large letters.

I wonder if when Obama becomes president if George W. will suddenly feel the need to compare Obam's ass to dairy, or if that's just something sluts do when the sex tape torch is passed on?

@Mike_Jahn: goobers gluteus maximus

Cauliflower ass?

Or maybe bubble-wrap thighs?

@BalknChain: Why are you sharing all my pet names for you? I thought we had a confidentiality agreement.

A silver lining: wee Prince Beckham isn't going to a Our Lady of a Thousand Thetans scientology school.

I happen to be a big fan of both cottage cheese and trash bags. And yet oddly, not of Kim Kardashian.

@Helman: that is genius

i'm sorry, but paris just moved up a notch in my book.

Is young Beckhamstein Jr. going to an actual Jewish school, or a "kabbalah" school with a Jewish-sounding name? I doubt the Sun can tell the difference.