• Natalie Portman was with her hippie boyfriend in a park when she got peed on by a dog. There's a picture and everything! Happy Tuesday! [Post]
• Lindsay Lohan told Ashley Olsen to keep her "Full House ass" away from Lohan's girlfriend. [P6]
• Kanye West broke up with his fiancée due to West's, ahem, "busy schedule." [E!]
• Paris Hilton is supposedly getting married in a double wedding with Nicole Ritchie and their Madden brother husbands. There's a picture of Paris holding a book with a picture of a bride on it, so the whole thing is basically confirmed.
• Rudy Huxtable from the Cosby Show will ply a hooker in a movie, since being a hooker is kind of the new black. [ET]
• Britney Spears will keep doing cameos on that one TV show until the ratings stop spiking. [LAT]
• Porn star Jenna Jameson's vagina was stolen from a sex shop. [CBS2]

Send an email to Ryan Tate, the author of this post, at ryan@gawker.com.