I'd hoped to leave Greg Gutfeld out of this story about partner-swapping by men's magazine veterans. But then the belligerent gay-baiting (and often funny) host of Fox News' late-night Red Eye, a Bill O'Reilly in training, decided to pick a fight with Gawker's commenters. Controversialist Gutfeld, fired from Stuff and Maxim's UK edition before he became host of the faltering Red Eye, wants an attention-grabbing mudfight. This website exists for no more noble purpose. So, here's the story of Gutfeld's disastrous double date with a fellow editor. (The video clip, of Gutfeld defending sex with hookers, is merely for illustration.)
After a hard day covering Fashion Week, in September 2006, Gutfeld was at Port 41 with a group of other magazine editors and writers. It was late, Gutfeld had been drinking, and he's not known for his discretion even when sober. According to one of the many present that evening, he began regaling the crowd with an account of a small dinner party hosted by Steve Perrine, former creative director of Men's Health, now editor-in-chief of Best Life, a magazine for middle-aged men who lead lives of silent desperation.
Now Perrine himself does not. In the past, at least, he's talked quite openly of his swinger's lifestyle and even alludes to it in interviews. Here's a podcast interview with Personal Life Media. "I’m leaving the party, I get my balls, I pick up some other guy’s balls. I get home, they don’t fit. I’ve got to call him up, 'I think I have your balls!' So that’s always difficult." Hmm, well, he's alluding to something there, anyway.
So, according to Gutfeld, he and a date went round to Perrine's for dinner a few years ago. Steve Perrine, who later became an expert on acrimonious divorces and child-custody disputes, was still with his first wife. The party was just the four of them. Gutfeld claimed he had no particular idea of the evening's agenda, but the dinner ended with his date in bed with Perrine, while the Red Eye opinionator was left with his host's wife. She was so upset, at the situation or Gutfeld's reluctance to exercise his partner-swapping rights, that the macho former magazine editor spent the evening sitting on a log, consoling the sobbing woman.
Now this tale, several years old, has probably been distorted both in Gutfeld's telling, and the subsequent retelling as it's made its way around the magazine world. It's no wonder the story is so confusing.
Assuming it's partly true, why on earth would Gutfeld allow his date to go off with the predatory Perrine when he didn't want reciprocation? And, even if wildly exaggerated, why would Gutfeld, a man who has traded on a reputation as one of the few red-blooded heterosexuals in media, tell a story which makes him look an impotent cuckold? There's only one explanation: late at night, at a bar or on his TV show, Gutfeld will say literally anything to get attention.










Comments
Oh, well. That was just a bit gratuiotously nasty, wasn't it?
I would have just set his hair on fire.
G-R-A-T-O-U-I-T-usly, Karen.
K-U-O, Greg.
I know Port 41!
His hair is on fire.
@KarenUhOh: Too good a story not to run at some point. That's what we're here for: those stories that journalists tell eachother and never make it into print.
SOCRATIC DIALOGUE INDEED, SIR! HOLY CRAP MR. DENTON, WHEN YOU GIVE IT YOU GIVE IT FUCKING GOOD. (in my excitement I've gone all caps!)
@KarenUhOh: I don't mean to be gratuitous about this, but it goes G-R-A-T then U-I etcetera.
As for Gutfeld, from his name to his mien, he's just so average.
Greg Gutfeld is a bad person! A very awful person!
There. As a Gawker commenter, I've done my part.
Thank god I'm a blue-blooded heterosexual. We never find ourselves in such awkward situations.
Goddamn you, Perinne.
@ext212: Best bar ever.
Greg cannot be gay. Want to know why?
We don't want him.
Few gay men are constipated - we know all about the fiber. And while we love attention, we do something fabulous to get it rather than spending time in front of a FOX camera screaming like a bloaty dry-drunk fratboy and lobbing softball comments at paid sycophants.
And finally, no self-respecting gay would ever let anyone film him with that preposterous haircut and JFP pink shirt collection.
I hope he gets cancer.
@McMurphy: I hope his cancer gets diarrhoea.
@McMurphy: Is there going to be a punchline to that, or did you think that yours was a worthwhile contribution as is?
@McMurphy: So the lobotomy didn't work after all! Like Chief, you just pretended.
And I suspect the wife in question was crying at the prospect of having to have relations with Greg. Either that, or because Tony Snow has cancer.
How is it possible that this story doesn't have Neal Boulton in it?
But this means that people, other than Gutfield himself, talk about Greg Gutfield.
This does not square with reality.
@KarenUhOh: I'm not sure if this is relevant to your thematic trajectory, but, no, G-R-A-T-U-I-T-O-U-S-L-Y, Karen.
luv,
House Proofreader (or so he'd like to think)
May your cells divide uncontrollably, Greg.
@BettyCrocker: Well we (hetero ladies) don't want him either!!!!!
@Nick Denton:
Nick, I absolutely adore you for this post. Smitten. I am considering baking you cookies as a thank you.
P.S. Please remind me to never be on your bad side.
HOT! In a very weird sort of way.
@VirusWithShoes: And, if we're lucky, his trots will develop ALS.
No argument, it does reflect badly on him that he didn't want to have sex with a visibly upset woman and instead tried to make her feel better.
Off-topic, but revelatory of how Gawker is esteemed compared to, say, middle-of-the-night talk shows on Fox, this just arrived from Mediapost:
IN 10 YEARS FROM NOW, the upfront advertising market will still be around. But it may not exactly look the same. Tiny Fey may be hosting a fingernail-biting show on Gawker.com that you might want to buy for your nail polish client.
Greg, takes it in the gut, felled.
@Bell County: There's nothing more consoling than the grunting, sweaty thrusts of Greg Gutfeld.
How does that even work?
Did Perrine just go upstairs with Gutfield's state under the pretense that they were going to hang a very exciting picture over the bed or something? Did Gutfield stay on the basis of humanizing dignity or a pathetic attempt to get his side of the bargain? I can't envision this all going down without developing a sudden, horrible ache where my brain was.
@it takes a train to cry: Yeah this story isn't all that embarassing, is it? It's certainly no worse than the time I [redacted].
@Conbon: That was supposed to be @Bell County. So, um, @it takes a train to cry: Who's Tiny Fey?
Lest we forget, this is the man who gave Julia Allison her first television gig.
Oh fuck the spelling. Go ahead, Greg: there's your lede:
COMMENTER CAN'T EVEN SPELL FUCK YOU WRITE!
And I'll even give you my real name. Just don't ask me to spell it.
Now Nick Denton himself does not.
In fact, the plausibility of this story is nil. It is zero. Fucking think about this, people. There are like a dozen totally implausible events described here, but here are the least believable:
1.) Gutfield gets date
2.) Perrine finds Gutfield's date attractive
3.) Somehow, a woman-swap is negotiated over dinner between Gutfield and Perrine
4.) This woman swap is CONSUMMATED IN THE SAME HOUSE IMMEDIATELY
5.) Greg doesn't get his, or try to get his
6.) Gutfield ultimately tried to be the nice guy
7.) Everyone somehow leaves (?) and presumably gets ice cream
@sassypants: oh please don't. though the gesture is a lovely one, mr. denton requires that I serve as his taster and the last time he was sent baked goods from an admirer I was sick for days - the doctors suspect veninum lupinum crushed and mixed into frosting.
who knew that sloane crosley was such a vindictive bitch.
Oh, I keep calling him Gutfield. Sorry Gutfeld; you're just so inconsequential that I don't exactly have it memorized.
Hmph. I went to the internetz to find more dirt, and regrettably, I discovered that with a proper editor, he can actually string together a sentence. [www.simonsays.com]
However, he had to dumb it down significantly for FOX, as his blog shows. They don't even read as though they were written my the same person! Way to circle the bowl, Greg.
Ha, in his lust to start a swaggering fight with us, the faceless commenters, Greggie exacted the wrath of Nick Denton himself. Well done, Greg.
@Conbon:
This is all just a ploy for him to 'date' JA.
Cancer + Herpes = irrelevant media whores
What I can't understand is why Greg has let himself GO like he has? I mean, I saw a picture of him from years ago and he was buffed and ripped and (cringe) kinda hot and now...this!? Why would you do that? And then go on TV! Knowing the pictures of your previous hotness were still out there, for comparison! That's just ASKING for a self-loathing enema! Nevermind the 3am television show on Fox!
Makes my brain hurt...
Since when does Fox News count as being part of the media?
@Smirk: Journalists drink a lot even when they work for relatively legit media. Now imagine what it's like to work at Fox News.
I don't understand the balls quote. I didn't think balls were detachable and I've been around the a few times, if you know what I mean.
Here's the whole backstory on a sad, wasted life: [www.observer.com]
Money quotes - he loved Paul Lynde as a child and liberal men are "going against their natures".
*shudders*
1. maybe julia allison should date him
2. maybe julia allison should blow tony snow
@BettyCrocker: is he one of those who's the last to know he's gay?
i think his problem is that nobody wants him, not the str8s, not the geighs, nobody
That was a cool story, Nick.
Do you have any more? How about one about Greg Gutfield fucking a large farm animal?