If she has paparazzi, we know her publicist got to 2nd base.

So? NYC is a bunch of pedophiles? Sounds about right.

If you have herpes, you know you've been somewhere.

"If you're walking, you know you've got legs".
-V. Hudgens

"If your mouth tastes like peanut butter. You know you've got peanut butter"
-V. Hudgens

"Oh Peeps. You're such a good kisser."
-V. Hudgens

So Kathy Griffin was right? About everything?

This quote makes paparazzi sounds like a disease or something. Oh, yeah.

@Priam: She's 19.

@Pope John Peeps II: She speaks the troof.

Yes, Nick, it's true. And stupid. And it's bad. BAD. Why don't we ever just all acknowledge that human beings thinking of themselves as "brands" is sort of hellishly bad? And that was my earnesty fart of the day. Thank you.

@Priam: And, what the heck are you talking about?

@In Other News...: I see you are from the Jerry Lee Lewis school of thought.

@In Other News...: Just getting a little tired of the press reporting on the press to get press.

But to know you've really arrived, V-Hugs, you need at least a stalker or two as well.

I think Smails is available.

@Priam: 19-year-olds are of legal age. I think you might want to read up on the definition of "pedophilia."

@In Other News...: Under 18 is wrong.

18-21 is legal but not really moral unless you're under 25.

Over 21 is fine.

Rule of thumb: if you can meet her in a casino in Las Vegas, she's fair game.

"And, before taking Hudgens' quote as the shallow babbling of a fame-drunk teenager, stop to think: it's also entirely true."

These two things are not mutually exclusive, Nick. In fact, 90% of the shallow babblings of a fame-drunk teenagers are self-promoting statements of the obvious.

The other 10% are statements that defend these inanities as somehow insightful because they are true.

I seen Buzz Aldrin's on the TMZ, and THAT motherfucker's been to THE MOON!

@Swifter: I hear you on the Vegas thing, but I hate when they ask to keep their fanny packs on to cover their gray pubic hair. It's like, "We've come this far, Edith! Don't get shy now!!!"

Well everyone already saw her bush, so this picture is positively conservative.

"If you have paparazzi, you have a ride home" - Britney

@Swifter: Agreed on all counts. Can you spot me some chips?

If you have garbage bag, you know you've gotten raincoat.

@Swifter: What is this 'moral' you speak of?

If your hand is bigger than your face, you know you've got AIDS.

@BullfightsOnAcid: Oh, yeah, I forgot most of you are in New York.

Yeah, I want my 19-year-old starlets to be drunk drunk, not fame drunk.

@hamburgerhotdog:

OH NO. I am NOT falling for that one!

@BullfightsOnAcid: Moral sex, of course.

@In Other News...: According to her Twitter, which I now follow sporadically (help me!), Julia Allison will be arriving in Las Vegas shortly to meet with the other fish, so perhaps she can spare you some chips.

@Nard38: Fanny packs are so last season.

@skahammer: Oh brother. I posted this little attempt at ha-ha before I'd waded through the JA-stalker thread.

Now I'm feeling my existence here is a little precarious. Anyone know what brand of Scotch Mr. Ketch prefers?

They have a cream for that, Vanessa. By prescription only.

@Nard38: Hilarious.
@Swifter: I can't stop looking at her Twitter either! That and Mary's blog, and I feel so cold and empty inside, and I take it out on VirusWithShoes in passive/aggressive IM conversations. Fuck you Virus! I love you!

@Unfun: Awww. There's those mood swings I've come to know and love!

I like it when you kiss me and knee me in the groin at the same time.

@VirusWithShoes: What about when she kisses you in the groin and knees you in the face?

@Pope John Peeps II: That's usually by accident or joint-slippage due to over-oiling on both our parts.