Jakob Lodwick is Sick of Your Infernal Minimum Wage

Why all the poverty in America? Vimeo-founding Julia Allison-ex and tedious fameball douche Jakob Lodwick thinks it's because all those poor, poor corporations are forced to pay a minimum wage that many prospective workers are simply not qualified for. In a rhetorical interview with himself (Oh, what a device!) Lodwick sure does make some convincing arguments.

Q: What about the homeless guy who can't get hired for the $5/hour minimum wage job, but would be qualified for a $3 an hour job?

A: He will have no job, because no $3 jobs exist. He will dig through trash cans for empty bottles and pizza crusts.

Q: But that's not fair. It is my belief that no one should have to dig through trash cans.

A: Then why do you advocate laws that make digging through trash cans inevitable? Why do you eliminate the role of the least skilled people in the economy? Why do you insist that the ladder have no bottom rung?

Q: Nobody's talking about ladders. I'm talking about the basic human right of a well-paying job.

A: What about the right to earn a living that, while meager, is better than no living at all?

Q: Easy for you to say! You've made plenty of money - you're just trying to squeeze every last penny out of the underpriviledged!

A: I've made plenty of money because I'm good at evaluating complex systems and understanding how they could be made more efficient. There is an inefficiency here that hurts everyone. It bothers me because it could so easily be reversed, because it causes so much misery, and because it makes the economy worse off for me! But nobody wants to learn basic economics, so they go on repeating the same reality-denying mistakes that have been made, putting forth an agenda that cannot work but sure does sound nice [...]

Q: Do you think the girls who attack you on their tumblrs have crushes on you?

A: No comment, you're adding an unnecessary distraction to this post.

Q: Ok, one more question, what's your take on this debacle?

A: GOOD NIGHT.

[JakobLodwick.com]