Battlestar Galactica: This Week in Space

Here is this week's roundup of the Sci-Fi Channel's rocking space opera Battlestar Galactica, from notes I took last night from deep within a liter of Johnny Walker Red Lable. (And here are the other weeks.) Could be spoilers, could maybe not be-how would I know?

  • Ooh... Jesus Doctor in kinky bondage funtimes with Secret Cyclon lady!
  • Bondage funtimes with Secret Cyclon not really so fun.
  • Wha? Jesus Doctor's harem invaded by gay bikers from The Road Warrior? Where is Lord Humongous?!
  • Hey, Chief Fatty Q. Workingstiff! Your wife is space food. Didn't anybody tell you yet?
  • Silly pilot lady... You can't land on your nose!
  • Bleachy Cyclon's in Doctor Jesus's head-Are we still doing that?
  • Raid on the temple! Turn over the money changers' tables! Cliche complete!
  • 23 minutes in and STILL NO BLONDE TOMBOY SPACE GIRL!
  • Gravel is for rustic driveways, Miami Vice. You don't eat it.
  • Old Eyepatchy wants Bleachy Cyclon to be his Oprah friend and tell him what it's like to have so many deaths on her bony hands.
  • Chief Fatty Q. Workingstiff: "I settled! I settled for that freak! Those dull fracking eyes!" You are a mechanic with a studio apartment and you want to get the hotties? It's space, fatboy. Not Long Island.
  • Eww... Old Eyepatchy's eye! Haha... Bleachy just beat the shit out of you!
  • Blonde Tomboy Space Girl... Where are you?? ::sniffle::