So... uh.. What's "your usual cello player". I would guess something like "Skilled and employed with an orchestra"??

Is that really what women are NOT looking for?

I might have to hit him up. That haircut looks like it will be really effective in ridding my pots and pans of cooked-on grease when I am doing the dishes.

wow. i just had a flashback from my days playing russian roulette on nerve.

Those mutton chops are eating his face. Eating his face! Hell, in a minute they're gonna start eating my face.

This is a pretty good representation of what's out there in the NYC dating world. And why I cry myself to sleep, alone each night.

You've got to give the guy a break. That hairline simply is not compatible with a hip hairdo.

@Bell County: Yet he has the perfect shaped head to shave it all off and look mildly attractive after 47 beers.

What's getting lost in this discussion is the music: [profile.myspace.com]

What does a guy like that do with his hair if he doesn’t want to look like every other balding dude? Would close-cropped hair with trimmed-down chops pass muster?

Mmm, that made me think of lamb chops with mustard. Bye now!

@contradicto: Musical genius in front, par-tay in the back.

It's no wonder he's looking for love on the internet.

And who says all the good ones are married or geigh?

OK, as a card-carrying fruit, he's not exactly my idea of fucks-like-a-beast.

And, frankly, I've overlooked a helluva lot worse than mullet-plus-mutton-chops to get a little quality time with fucks-like-a-beast.

However. That said. The "artistic" friends on the MySpace page of Chris. Plus, the music of Chris, as was wisely cited by Bell Country.

Ya' know, those things, as far as I'm concerned, are like soaking my testes in liquid nitrogen.

Chris could be as buff and well-hung as Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, and twice as horny, but the "artistic" Myspace pals and the peculiar music would act on me like chemical castration.

@Hamud: Y'all are issuing cards now?

Actually that sounds like a great idea. But how do you actually prove that you're qual--...no, wait, let's just leave that where it is.

If you substitute "tuba" for "cello" then you have one hot muthafukkah all up in therre, as Nelly might say.

Why does he leave his work as "Frank" on 30 Rock off of his resume? I bet he makes those trucker hats ("Trap D_or") himself with one of those machine you find at mall kiosks.

And finally, when asked if he smokes, he says "no way". Hamud, where can I get one of those cards?

@Bell County: Then he needs to quit trying. He's trying too hard. I think to most women, that is the big turn-off.

He's 5'0. Am I reading this wrong? Haha what? Seth Green could take him in a death match.

>> So... uh.. What's "your usual cello player". I would guess something like "Skilled and employed with an orchestra"?? <<

Hehe. You forgot to mention "who has a bank account".

This person might be very nice, but he looks like a reason one might cite for why s/he moved out of New York City.

So wait, someone else drew a picture of him and you think it's appropriate to post his dating profile? So the new Gawker definition of people wanting media attention is anyone who has information about them on the internet? I can't wait until Google starts indexing people's scrips. Duane Reade will be that much more exciting: hey, that dude is probably getting his AZT! I read it on Gawker.

@ninety_nine:
one does not do that to one's hair without inwardly shouting "PAY ATTENTION TO MEEEEEE....I'M ARTISTIC!!!! AND TORTURED!!!!!!!!!!EXCLAMATION POINT!"

He sounds perfect. For the chick with the flower in her hair who wears blue tights and writes in a "journal" on the subway.

@ninety_nine: Like going to Duane Reade needs to be any more exciting.

@Videodrew:
Well, you are and you aren't reading that wrong.
He's claiming 6' -- but as any woman who's done the online dating thing knows, that can mean "I really am 6'tall" or "if I stand on a box I'm 5'9"."

@ninety_nine: I'm sorta with you here. It's bad enough having to resort to online dating without it being broadcast for all the world's snark. Screw you, coupled ones! Some people are busy with jobs and lives and don't have time to meet people in person, ok?! Got a fucking problem with that?

Then again, I've done enough online dating to sniff out a douche, and he fits the bill. I'm so torn!

One day, someone is going to sue Gawker for severe emotional distress over something like this. Just sayin...

@Unfun: In fact, that person is headed to their lawyer in 26 minutes!

This guy has done more for mullets than Billy Ray Cyrus. Urbanized them, so to speak...

He is just so, so alive.