Tom Cruise's Fling With Cher Ends Gay Talk

Oh, look, Tom Cruise did a very straight, manly thing back in his formative days that will finally make everyone stop looking for signs the Hollywood star is a homosexual: He boned Cher! Cruise had a fling with the noted heterosexual icon and pop diva in the mid-1980s after running into her at a White House fundraising event, which apparently had to do with raising money for people with learning disabilities. Cruise was 23 and Cher 39. Cruise's breakthrough hit Risky Business had just come out. Cher told Oprah all about the affair recently at a show taping in Las Vegas. Oddly, things were a little awkward, according to a summary of Cher's comments in the Daily Mail:

In the show, to be seen on U.S. television next month, she spoke of Cruise, now 45, as an awkward young man who was struggling to adjust to his new life.

"He was shy," she said. "He said he felt like such a boob in school and nobody talked to him. We went on a date once for dinner in a New York restaurant and the waitress was from his old school.

"He told me she never talked to him back in school, but now he was recognised he got all her attention.

...As she recounted her time with the actor, the audience burst into a frenzy of cheering and whooping, especially when she spoke of one particularly "long night" in his arms.

[Daily Mail]

8:02 PM on Mon Apr 28 2008
By Ryan Tate
9,476 views
39 comments

Comments

contradicto at 08:10 PM on 04/28/08
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Oh if Cher could turn back time. She prolly would have stuck to the bagel boy beat.
Bell County at 08:10 PM on 04/28/08
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Actually, I think this just proves that Cher is a man.
nonpareil at 08:13 PM on 04/28/08
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Having sex with Cher is about as probative of heterosexuality as having sex with a tranny is of homosexuality. Right guys? Right?!
contradicto at 08:15 PM on 04/28/08
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@Bell County: She's just like Jesse James!
NobodyLikesMe at 08:16 PM on 04/28/08
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Having sex with Cher worked out really, really well for David Geffen, too. She must have some kind of magic cootchie.
Bell County at 08:18 PM on 04/28/08
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@contradicto: And Tom Cruise is gonna go down in flames...
richardmarxhatesmyhair at 08:32 PM on 04/28/08
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He dated Cher because because Judy Garland was already dead.
richardmarxhatesmyhair at 08:33 PM on 04/28/08
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@richardmarxhatesmyhair: only one because.
Theda_Bara at 08:42 PM on 04/28/08
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Over-Cher-y.
SuperUnison at 08:47 PM on 04/28/08
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Guess he fell into her "danger zone"
(so out of good jokes)
Pope John Peeps II at 08:54 PM on 04/28/08
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Sometimes you hear about a sexual act so strange that you just want to masturbate to it just to prove you can. I accept your challenge, plasticky brunette barbie and gay couch humping thetan hater.
contradicto at 08:55 PM on 04/28/08
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@SuperUnison: I guess Cher wasn't Strong Enough to be his man.
valarmorghulis at 09:08 PM on 04/28/08
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@Pope John Peeps II: I don't think I could rise to that challenge.
Hythloday at 09:08 PM on 04/28/08
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@contradicto, @contradicto: Talk about a different kind of love song.
the earl grey at 09:10 PM on 04/28/08
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cher & gregg allman I can deal with. cher + gene simmons is too gross to deal
miss_msry at 09:16 PM on 04/28/08
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What self-repection gay wouldn't hit that gay cultural icon?
if_i_only_had_a_heart at 09:20 PM on 04/28/08
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@Bell County: i was totally going to say that.

jinx!
In Other News... at 09:22 PM on 04/28/08
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@SuperUnison: Nah, we can handle the truth.
jimbosil at 09:27 PM on 04/28/08
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Um, something something "Half-Breed" something...
famousauthor at 09:30 PM on 04/28/08
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I didn't know Cher was a Scientologist.
WordSalad at 09:32 PM on 04/28/08
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What do you want from Cher? Every night all the men would come around and lay their money down.
valet_of_the_dolls at 10:10 PM on 04/28/08
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@richardmarxhatesmyhair: You were almost off to see the wizard, there, weren't you?
Those becauses were building...
MartyPants at 10:40 PM on 04/28/08
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@richardmarxhatesmyhair: FOD, indeed.
notsofresh at 10:47 PM on 04/28/08
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So Cher did Tom AND Val Kilmer? How about a roll in the sack with Anthony Edwards, just to hit the Top Gun trifecta?
Swordfish at 11:01 PM on 04/28/08
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And Kelly McGillis too....
UnstableMabel at 11:24 PM on 04/28/08
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Gynoid meets android.
WordSalad at 11:36 PM on 04/28/08
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@famousauthor: I guess she had a *little bit* of Scientology in her at one time. Badabump!
McCheeburger at 11:40 PM on 04/28/08
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I've got yew, babe.

(Sonny's last song)
JinxyMcDeath at 12:06 AM on 04/29/08
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My happily gay bff of q gazillion years has a short list of famous girls he would bone. Cher isn't one of them, but Jennifer Lopez is...
dutchmonkey at 12:11 AM on 04/29/08
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I think Cher is the machine Scientologists hook themselves up to in order to measure how alien they are.
VoxPopuli at 12:19 AM on 04/29/08
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There's got to be a way to work "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves (Thetans?)" into this, but I got nothing.
Nunya B at 12:22 AM on 04/29/08
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Scientologists believe they can turn back time, you know. Maybe Cruise gave Cher the idea…
contradicto at 12:41 AM on 04/29/08
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@Hythloday: At least Tom finally found someone like Kate to hide deeper in the closet with.
Un Chien Andalou at 02:03 AM on 04/29/08
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a "fling with cher"?
is that like a liason with a french girl?
Scooter34 at 08:06 AM on 04/29/08
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I can just imagine the "long night":

"Sssshhhh, it's all right. Honestly, it happens. Of course I understand. No, I know you've been under a lot of pressure lately. Please...please stop crying, Tom."
Itsjustcatnip at 08:51 AM on 04/29/08
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Learning disabled... at heterosexuality.
anonymous1 at 10:47 AM on 04/29/08
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Yeah, and Cher also dated David Geffen, so obviously she has an affinity for Gay men.
Muscato at 11:54 AM on 04/29/08
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But at what point did she laugh and dance and light the candles one by one?

My guess is just about two minutes, tops, before the consoling outlined by Scooter34, above, commenced.
AnnaFreud at 01:26 PM on 04/29/08
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Right. Because the best way to affirm one's straightness is to proclaim one's affinity for Cher.

Tom, keep digging that hole deeper ...