Wired editor Chris Anderson tonight came face-to-face with the "Long Tail," his oft-cited metaphor for low-grade internet fame, via an encounter after the National Magazine Awards with fameball Julia Allison. Star Editor-At-Large Allison worked Anderson hard, no doubt as part of her relentless effort to take the "proto" out of her protocelebrity — to be more than tail, basically. She reports on her blog that she chatted Anderson up for 20 minutes and ended up "bopping him enthusiastically." Wait, Julia. Didn't you just tell the Times you were going to stop using your "pink-encased loaded weapon" this way?? Anyway, alternate photo captions for the picture above are totally welcome after the jump. Even if you're drunk. Especially if you're drunk. [Julia Allison: 1, 2, 3, 4]
Julia Allison Is Chris Anderson's Tail Tonight
1:46 AM on Fri May 2 2008
By Ryan Tate
3,454 views
48 comments








Comments
No, you don't need to open that wide. It's only this big.
You've got about this much longer before everyone says "Julia Who?"
Could you shield the teeth? They tend to scrape.
testing. testing.
I wonder if this will work?
@Pope John Peeps II: dang. can someone remind me how to link to pictures so as to get the picture, and not that silly thumbnail they do when you embed things?
I have been drinking. Lots. STILL not enough for a JA post.
"Are you sure this is how tonsil hockey is played?"
New program, people. MAINTAIN RADIO SILENCE. Let's all stop commenting on JA posts. PM me if you want to join the fight. [baugher.tumblr.com]
@Hez: I'm with you. I've stopped clicking on JA posts. Leave them to wither on the vine.
No need to point out her redeeming qualities, Chris. She does just fine with that on her own.
@Pope John Peeps II: You have to hotlink it in, as in but without the spaces after and before the pointy brackets. That makes me hesitant to use images from other sites, so I stick them on my blog first, which of course makes me look even spammier than I do already. If the site allows hotlinking, I give the link as well, first: then image.
You have to backspace and take off the closing bracket sometimes. It's weird. Always use preview.
Also: Ryan, LOVELY use of metaphor.
As in, I SAID:
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src
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"URLofImage"
raincoaster, I'm testing that:
Does it not look like she doesn't understand what the hell he's saying and took her laugh cue a little too early? Not that I haven't been there.
HEE HAW
@SarahHeartburn:same same
but wait, we're here
Lately my comments in non-JA posts have not been going through, so at this risk of seeming trolly: could she open that fucken' mouth any wider!? OMG. My eyes!
Is he trying to throw a fish in her mouth, cause she looks like a Seal in this photo?
also, is she on a campaign of wearing only white?
Since Julia Allison was born into backlash, is it possible that someday there might be a Julia Allison backlash blacklash?
What the hell was this braying ass doing at an event that honors talent?
45 was the correct number of olives that fit in there, for those of you who had action in the pool.
@richardmarxhatesmyhair: I see no pronounced facial scars. Sorry, but she looks nothing like Seal.
I'm not up my junk fame whore lingo, so what does "bopping him enthusiastically" translate to in standard English?
And I apologize in advance for adding to the already stupid amount of bandwidth devoted to the Internets low-hanging fruits.
Julia, do I see Jakob behind your tonsils?
Oil my jaw hinges please.
@BalknChain: "Bhhht ahhhh GNNNT shh ettt!!:
JA reminds me here of a penguin that I once fed in Oslo. However, the penguin had a cute little yellow tuft on his head and no cheap extensions, unlike Gawker's 40 something creation.
With that cartoonish mouth open wide, I'm pretty certain that the pink lady is about to drop to her knees.
did julia alliason come to us through a rip in the spacetime continuum located somewhere in silicon valley, circa 1995? because that's the last time anyone took the editor of WIRED seriously.
"Feed me, Seymour, feed me!"
I'm sorry but I have to say...he looks like mischief, and he has lovely eyelashes. He would chew you up and spit you out.
Disclaimer: It's Friday night and have been out for dinner and a few wines. Apologies in advance. Anyway I would much rather talk about me than her. And I buy my own MacBooks.
If this schmooze turns out to have gone as smashingly as described, can we the people expect some sort of battle royal between Anderson and Denton over who gets to play pimp to the media world's preeminent Cyber-Ho?
I have Julia Allison fatigue. I know she's cute and all, and I'm right inside her nerd target demographic, but I don't want any more of that ice cream flavor right now. I'm full.
Gawker, I know you get lots of grief about Julia posts, but feel free to continue if they contain more photos of handsome men gesturing enthusiastically about their penis length.
Whenever you see someone (especially a slut) with mouth open like that, proper response is: "C**k goes where?"
@UnstableMabel: Where are you? Asia? Australia?
"Prospective owner checks horse's teeth."
@CaptainFantastic: West Aust.
@Smirk: Totally agree, and my body language would have mirrored hers.
What a glimpse into the future...
This bimho (that's right, bimho) is destined to be someone's loud, embarrassing aunt who-never-married, always at family functions wearing too much make-up along with something attention grabbing and inappropriate, going on and on and on about the old blogging glory days in New York while the bored kid, having heard the random stories and names a million times but never really listened once is like, Yeah, whatever.
Then an even younger cousin, still in the terrified-of-auntie-Julia-stage says quietly, What's a blog?
"You know what else is free? My long tail."
@UnstableMabel
Yes, I agree -- mouth wide open is always the best response.
I like the first comment on this picture the best...with that said:
"So let me get this straight? You want me to reach into your mouth and feel up your tits from the inside? Girl, I thought my fetish to have my prostate milked was strange." - Chris Anderson
Harry "there is nothing wrong with kink" Wang
i was just beginning to like her, then she goes and pulls a julia again, UGH
So what does she DO when someone with a camera approaches and wants to shoot the left side of her face? Does she frantically spin around? How does she manage NEVER to have one side of her face photographed? And is her mother talking to her again?
Other than that, yes, Hez, I will attempt to join your cause but sometimes I just get so pissed off at her latest antics that I need to vent to like-minded bitches.
@Trixie from Toronto: At least she stopped pursing her lips in every damn photo, although the "gaping wide enough to catch a shark whole" look isn't her most attractive either.
Kind of like the desperate woman who keeps laughing louder and harder to get attention as her friends are getting picked up by men in the bar while she's still left alone.
@The One:I doubt she's retired BaboonAssFace yet. She was doing it in a couple of those Vegas shots.
There is something vaguely Miss Piggy-ish about this particular shot. Not one of her best, yet infinitely more attractive than BaboonAssFace.
@Trixie from Toronto: I bet she snorts when she laughs. Look at that picture again if you doubt.
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