Naomi Campbell Pretends To Be A Good Person

Instead of viciously beating people with her cellphone, supermodel Naomi Campbell tried bringing tea and coffee to assistants on the TV show Ugly Betty. Ten bucks says the coffee and tea had, in turn, been bought by Campbell's own assistant, and that Campbell hasn't been into a Starbucks since 1998. I hope someone demanded her drink be brought back with nonfat milk at exactly 195 degrees. [News Of The World]
Miley Cyrus after some kind of Disney concert in Orlando: "I hope you had an awesome time. I saw a sign back there that said: 'Miley, I'm praying for you.' I could not be more appreciative. Thank you guys for all your support. Without you, none of this would be possible. I love every one of you and I could not be more appreciative. God bless you." I think she could be more appreciative. [Sun]
Victoria Beckham and husband David were looking forward to a quiet trip to Napa Valley via Tom Cruise's empty-and-waiting private jet. Turns out Cruise, his wife and four Hollywood pals were waiting on the plane to surprise them. See, for Scientologists, the line between "surprise party" and "awful kidnapping" does not exist. [Showbiz Spy]
Singer Winona Ryder apparently still allowed to shop. [Popsugar]
Lindsay Lohan is going on Ugly Betty. [People]
Amy Winehouse, who is Jewish, is wearing rosary beads to support her jailed husband. Further destroying the Catholic church is just a nice side effect. [Oh No They Didn't]
I can't muster much outrage, but the British tabs sure can: "POP mogul Simon Cowell has been allowed to park his Rolls-Royce wherever he likes — a privilege usually reserved for the QUEEN." [Sun]
In the wake of testimony against her alleged stalker, Uma Thurman went brunette. This information would be of use pretty much only to... stalkers. [P6]

6:20 AM on Mon May 5 2008
By Ryan Tate
663 views
21 comments

Comments

SarahHeartburn at 07:01 AM on 05/05/08
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I say this as a rabid, recovering-Catholic atheist, but, uh, Amy, you poor, chemically befuddled child. This is a Vatican-Glamour don't on the same level as making a bra out of two yarmulkes.
PRIsNotJournalism at 07:02 AM on 05/05/08
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Can someone explain to me again why Lindsay Lohan is famous?
nightwatchman_flamekeeper at 07:06 AM on 05/05/08
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What did Naomi do to be a nice guy, hold her fire until the desk clerk was able to reload?
nightwatchman_flamekeeper at 07:11 AM on 05/05/08
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Maybe fellow Brit, recovering Catholic Madonna can get Amy into kabbalah.
backseat_driver10023 at 07:51 AM on 05/05/08
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I miss Winona Ryder.
ByOsmosis at 08:05 AM on 05/05/08
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Ah. I thought it was the thin line between "spiritual awakening" and "total collapse of critical thinking faculties" which was hazy in Scientopia.
VoxPopuli at 09:08 AM on 05/05/08
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Good thing Uma went brunette - no one will recognize her. I mean NO ONE saw Pulp Fiction, so she's TOTALLY safe there.
In Other News... at 09:10 AM on 05/05/08
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"Hey guys, thanks for coming to my concert tonight. You guys totally ROCK!!!. Now I need you to turn to your daddies and tell them without mommy hearing that they need to get rid of that issue of 'Vanity Fair' that they've got stashed away in the underwear drawers, okay? Post-haste!"
In Other News... at 09:11 AM on 05/05/08
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@backseat_driver10023: Three words: STAR TREK ELEVEN. Either Spiegelman or I will buy you the popcorn.
nightwatchman_flamekeeper at 09:18 AM on 05/05/08
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Is it true that Amy Winehouse is actually Fran Drescher's younger sister?
if_i_only_had_a_heart at 09:28 AM on 05/05/08
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@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: that was a great way to start the day. and naomi campbell is their cousin
BalknChain at 09:28 AM on 05/05/08
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Campbell's assistants are now comprised of work releasers in bright orange.
Miley is such an ingrate.
Has anyone seen Victoria and Xenu in the same room together? didn't think so
Winona had her fingerprints surgically removed, so it's ok.
Regarding Amy, they're NOT rosary beads and you don't want to know where they've been.
Simon is a queen, dammit!
Oh Uma, no, just no.
CopyofBlueboy at 09:43 AM on 05/05/08
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Winona Ryder's a singer now?
@PRIsNotJournalism: Evidently, when she was eight, she was cute and had "potential." Or something. I've always thought she was mediocre at best.
JinxyMcDeath at 10:10 AM on 05/05/08
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Please, Amy Winehouse needs a hail mary. (*rim shot*)
HowardRoarkLaughed at 10:28 AM on 05/05/08
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@JinxyMcDeath: I think she's just doing it for the free wine.
Spirit Fingers at 10:28 AM on 05/05/08
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Ugly Betty: Halfway house for the career derailed.
nightwatchman_flamekeeper at 10:40 AM on 05/05/08
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@BalknChain: Oh, nice! You're on fire today.
fearlessforecaster at 10:45 AM on 05/05/08
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I feel bad for the horse that had to be euthanized on Saturday....

Couldn't we just Euthanize Lindsay Lohan's carreer instead?
Saxon 212 at 11:09 AM on 05/05/08
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Little known fact about Naomi is that she has a giant tear scar from her nose to her lip,it's always covered with makeup!When I was a little boy I was an assistant to a fashion stylist and once my job was to cover Ms Bitch with an Hemes cashmere blanket between takes on the set of a car commercial being filmed in a cold dark hanger in England,every time I went to cover her with the blanket I was afraid,very afraid!
BalknChain at 11:15 AM on 05/05/08
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@nightwatchman_flamekeeper: I need my meds
Koreanish at 11:31 AM on 05/05/08
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@PRIsNotJournalism: Mean Girls.