Yes. Murdoch walked in the the newsroom, took a giant dump on a copy editor's desk and starting talking in Swahili.

Is it, by chance, the rumor that Rupert Murdoch plans to turn it into a propaganda organ for the Chinese Communist Party?

The editorial supporting Obama for President and Fonda Dicks for Name Of The Year?

R. Kelly is the new EIC. "And I went into the 5 o'clock budget meeting / And I said, 'What the fuck is up the little drawings -- it's the 22nd century, don't we have cameras? / Bitch, get me some peanut M&Ms.'"

@moff: Stuck in the Closet Part 47: It's Too Fucking Dark to Edit in Here! Sheeeeit!

Subscription rates are up?

It's not really about Wall Street?

Is it something to do with all the rabbits being delivered yesterday?

@moff: Not that far off.

@KarenUhOh: Ha!

@Nick Denton: Wow. I guess anything really is possible in the 22nd century.

@moff: ."@DorothyMantooth: "And I went into the supply closet. And I stood in the supply closet. Looked some for legal sized pads in the supply closet."

Jann Wenner?

@Nick Denton:
Bonnie Fuller?

@Nick Denton:
It's been a few weeks since my last try, so let me do it again.

It's Morrissey as E-I-C, isn't it? Please say yes.

@rosaluxembourgeoise: My second choice.

Please be John Carney, please be John Carney

Jud-ith Mil-ler, clap clap clapclapclap.

@belltolls:
O.J. Simpson was my second choice.

@Nick Denton: So it's 50 Cent, then.

Jennifer Connelly's character in Blood Diamond?

@hastings: Nah, it's probably Hov.

"Shut out of Def Jam / I could be livin' like Hef, man / But while it's all right to play, boy / I need something for my left hand / 'Cause you know what they say about idle hands and the devil / And Jay ain't no plaything / Level work with the revels / So reporting on finance / Making print media fly again / The market's a jungle / And my share is the lion's / Now me and my pride / At One World preside / Gonna do like we tell the girls / And explore our buyside"

Julia Allison?

@NeverEnough: NOOOOOO!

Miranda Priestly?

@moff: I assume you're already contracted to ghostwrite for Wolfe's forthcoming roman à ning? No doubt thisis50.com and the candy shop gat expansion loop will be huge with the Weekend Journal crowd.

@Nick Denton: HamNo is leaving Gawker to be EIC at the WSJ? Noooooooo! where will get our hiphop news?

A new movie, loosely based on editing chief Robert Thomson, is now in development: "The Devil Wears Pinstripes."

Tina Brown?

Dealbreaker sez Rebecca Wade, the editor of UK tabloid The Sun.

@Phyllis Nefler: I cannot wait to see Warren Buffet and Doug Feith topless on Page A3.

@moff: Oh, Jigga. You check cheese like a food inspectah.

@In Other News...: I'm showing off my freestyling skills in a British remake of 8 Mile called 12.875 Kilometer.

TOP TEN RUMORS ABOUT THE WSJ THAT DENTON COULD BE TALKING ABOUT:

10) Wall Street Journal: SVU

9) Editors to translate all copy using Navajo Code Talk

8) Reporters to get in at 9am; get hour lunchbreak; two-15-minute power naps; leave at exactly 5pm

7) Sue Simmons: Opinions editor

6) Free iced coffee and chicken sandwiches for the Hong Kong bureau

5) Home delivery to include actual home

4) Balvenie ads supplanted by Georgi Vodka ads

3) Home construction rates rise 8.2% in April; article will be exactly 7 words long

2) Journal to one-up Financial Times with nudie pix

1) HYPHENS ON EVERYTHING!!!

@moff: I'll be your Mekhi Phifer if you'll be my Danger Mouse.

@In Other News...: And lo! See green.

@Phyllis Nefler: But nothing in The Sun is true. I don't even think it is its real name.

@Phyllis Nefler: Rebekah Wade. But, yes. That was the rumor I was hearing. Interestingly, she was mentioned earlier in the year as a possible replacement for Col Allan at the Post. (Fiercely denied by Posties.) Wants out of The Sun. Tried for Times of London job. Well regarded within News Corp. But still more likely to be good for Post than Journal.

@Nick Denton: Dude, that is a lot less exciting than Kels.

Having run down all the other possibilities, it's got to be either Kanye West or Ron Paul.