Gawker
Every year, the most awful people in New York jet to Vienna for the Lifeball, a fancy-dress fundraiser for HIV/AIDS research. On the Austrian Airlines private charter this year: pseudo-heiress Lydia Hearst, the character upon whom Ugly Betty's Amanda Sommers should have been based; ubiquitous plump-lipped tranny Amanda Lepore; club kid Richie Rich; gender-bending party promoter Andre J.; scene photographer Patrick McMullan; and a disgusted Gawker spy. The Lifeball's worthy cause typically protects the absurd celebrity freeloaders—but not this time. Here's Lydia Hearst at the first night's cocktail party, abandoned by her airplane snog-buddy, Markus Schenkenberg. After the jump, our correspondent's shocking tale of mile-high blow and blow-jobs.
What is hilarious is that when you take all these characters out of New York, they just look like dumb freaks. It's like getting confused which day is Halloween and arriving in full-on costume on October 29th instead—oops. We went through a special check-in at JFK. Needless to say, the plane ride was like a bloody sniffing contest. Also, all the staff were gay men (ridiculously dressed in skanky outfits and body glitter). It was impossible to get a drink during the flight because all the staff were busy sucking dick in the lavatory.
Comments
From now on, I'm flying Virgin Airways.
Naomi Campbell Airways
"Coffee or Tea-Bagging?"
Lydia Hearst is unseating *someone* as the most worthless, most photogenic Gawker Obsession.
Ok, while the angle makes her head look a bit extra terrestrial, here's another shot of her where her chest looks fabulous. Reminder: in the next one she needs to look like a famine victim, Nick.
@it takes a train to cry: Very nice.
Hmmm, still sounds better than a flight on Southwest.
@social_crimer: "Someone"??? A personal name that also perhaps doubles as a safeword?
I was on this flight as well. To be sure, I felt a bit out of place when I arrived--I think it takes practice to look at Amanda Lepore and not think of the 50 year-old Puerto Rican man entombed under all that plastic--but I soon got into the swing of things. That Andre J. lady has incredible calves and the softest beard, and everyone just seemed so nice, although they did talk rather fast. All in all it was quite the experience, and by the end of it I felt as though I'd made friends for life. I entered that VIP jet a stranger, and emerged bow-legged, smeared with body glitter and bleeding from the nose and anus, just like everyone else, finally one of the gang.
In New York they look like dumb freaks too. But with context.
This needs more coverage,Nick your story was not long enough and there are not enough photos.Will there be a part two?
@LadlySack: And that name works as a safeword because it immediately deadens all desire and enjoyment.
@Saxon 212: Yes, we'll have ongoing coverage. Since you ask so nicely.
I think Gawker should do a foray into Casey Johnson, whilst on topic or freaky heiresses. Saw her last night - her hair was standing on end in a teased, ratsnest mess of hairspray and she had had so much botox she could barely speak. She looked completely deranged. She could be an interesting topic for awhile.
@CaptainHangNail: We all look like dumb freaks, but these people do it to a level which the rest of us only aspire to reach.
It's so true that certain things only belong in New York. I learned that the hard way after going home for Christmas vacation during my first year of college. Apparently guyliner isn't necessary for suburban house parties.
If her mother had only married that jerk she was living with in Berkeley, she'd be making organic granola in Sausalito and we would be spared all this excitement.
it's almost like lydia has replaced She Whose Name Must Not Be Spoken as an object of interest
shiny!
@if_i_only_had_a_heart: Why is it either/or? Julia just hasn't done anything interesting recently. If she finally concludes that Bravo deal, there will be loads to write about.
She looks like every other blond bimbo in a cheesy 70's flick.Hey Lydia! ABBA called they want their costume back!!
@if_i_only_had_a_heart: Voldemort has a wife?!
@Nick Denton: But once she's got a Bravo show, our work here is done, no?
@it takes a train to cry: No, that would just be the beginning. Think of the clips, the gleefully horrified commentary, the commenters who swear they're sick of Julia and still click through on every episode recap. It will be awesome!
This article would have been better titled, "Lydia Hearst Lives for the Balls in Vienna." Yeah, then I would've skimmed it closer.
@Nick Denton: make Balk come back to do it, that would complete the circle.
Connie Airlines. I'd like seat 1A please.
@ Nick Denton: Chilling.
@Saxon 212: Your sarcasm is delicious. Amazing, they are doing coke on this airplane?? It's like the 70s, but on the internet!
@Nick Denton: Why do you hate us?
@Nick Denton: good point, bring it all
it just seemed to me that one was filling the place of the other
but there is no doubt room in the metaverse for many
carry on
Markus Schenkenberg is the new Rick von Sloneker.
@werewolf: Yeah, I can only see one or two items on her. Definitely under-covered. And there's all that juicy backstory from Vanity Fair. Any other suggestions?
@Nick Denton:
"Julia just hasn't done anything interesting recently."
Oh! Word? "Interesting," huh? Hmm.
Since when, exactly, did blogging about stuff that's "interesting" become a primary objective of Gawker's agenda?
Just curious.
Sucking dick COULD be said to be getting a drink.
Just, not sharing the drink. With the other passengers. But you know, if you just sit around waiting...
Are you kidding?! I was on that plane as well and there was more snoring than "sniffing." For the record, Richie Rich was not there either. Are you sure your spy was on the right plane? I also don't get the implication Amanda Lepore and Andre J are the norm in New York, but I live a pretty sheltered life.
i know nothing more of her than i want to lick her face.
[i150.photobucket.com]
[www.cognacscorner.tv]
could bring her home looking like this. ok, i'm DONE now, but I do hope coverage continues...
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