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Lindsay Lohan is being sued over that incident in which she left a nightclub wearing someone else's blonde fur coat, a coat she had not been wearing previously, and that the owner did not give her permission to take. This means Lohan is probably going to have answer uncomfortable questions raised by the situation under oath, assuming she doesn't settle first, which she'll quickly do if she's smart. The owner of the coat, a Columbia University student of Russian extraction, received it as a gift from her grandmother and thought it was lost forever, until she saw paparazzi pictures of Lohan wearing it. She raised a stink, and the $12,000 coat was returned through intermediaries, with no explanation forthcoming. At first she asked for $10,000 compensation for the three weeks the coat was gone, but now she's likely to ask for a six-figure sum, as her attorney vowed earlier this month. If Lohan starts negotiating now, she could probably get that down to something in the mid five-figures, and avoid both a costly court battle and further damage to whatever is left of her acting career. That's, what, a couple of night's worth of coke and bottle service? [Post] (Photo: Splash)
Lohan Must Answer For Fur Snatching In Court
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11:08 PM on Mon May 19 2008
By Ryan Tate
2,008 views
56 comments
Comments
Idle hands are the devil's playthings.
Minchia, Linz!
Why doesn't she get the Russian lady to contribute to her birthday, and then they can call it even.
And what would the "eye for an eye" punishment be here? What's fair compensation for having that thing rub up all in your business?
Get William Hurt on the case!
Mink stink!
Just to be safe, Dina should return Jocelyn Wildenstein's skin while we're at it.
Let the fur fly...
@Saxon 212: In the clink!
To the gulag!
@In Other News...:
To the great irrigation project in the South! Brecht summer stock in Yalta!
Fur the love of gawd(iness)!
@In Other News...: @rosaluxembourgeoise: Someone cut down that damn cherry orchard!
What a pickle for Linds!
She can't use the obvious "I was wasted!" excuse without shredding her fragile sobriety cred, but she can't very well admit to Winona-like sticky fingers, either.
Best bet: A Bosnia sniper-fire scenario required a duck and run, and she grabbed the closest mink. [wink]
Best of all, the woman behind her in the photo (who appears to be Ashley Alexandra Dupre?) has a look on her face that says: "You know she stole that coat, don't you?"
Oh, what would we do without the paparazzi to bring justice to evildoers everywhere?
She stole a coat worth $12,000. Never mind the civil suit - why isn't she being arrested for grand theft?
Even if the columbia student isn't pressing charges with the police, Lohan was photographed in the act of committing grand larceny. Shouldn't she be arrested anyway? If I were photographed stealing a car and those photos were broadcast on the news, i'd think the cops would bust me whether the owner pressed charges or not.
And this is the woman who had cops find cocaine in her car and walked away without being charged for that.
Is she immune from any criminal responsiblity, like a diplomat or something?
@Richard:
Dina, convicted as an accomplice (negligence) before the Peoples' Tribunal, is sentenced to 6 months of Mother Courage at Odessa Womens' Collective Theatre!
Fur-snatching: is that something LiLo and Samantha Ronson get up to? Just asking...
So the item was returned undamaged and she probably has more money than the Lohan family to begin with, but she's going to sue anyway, because it's important that the drunk shoplifter look like the sensible one in this story.
@rosaluxembourgeoise: @Richard: "I vas once sent to plow the fields in Novaya Zelmnya. It vould have helped for them to inform me the till vould not break ze frozen vastes of ze tundra! My yaks, zey died in vain, alvays complaining ze yaks!"
You know, mid five-figures is cheap for fur rental these days. Sure, back in 1922 it was, like, 35 cents, but adjusted for inflation that would be equivalent to high five-figures today.
@Richard: @rosaluxembourgeoise:
+ Watch video
@In Other News...: "Ah, but you see, my Cossacks were cold! Cheka, please!"
@MisterHippity: I do believe she has diplomatic immunity as a former Disney princess of La-la land. You can tell by her special license plates.
@Bell County: "Please Vitaly, I tell you no more Overture of 1812 at bedtime! You are killing me vith ze cannons!"
Kashtanka looked at the stranger through the snow-flakes that hung on her eyelashes, and saw before her a short, fat little man, with a plump, shaven face wearing a top hat and a fur coat that swung open.
"What are you whining for?" he went on, knocking the snow off her back with his fingers. "Where is your master? I suppose you are lost? Ah, poor doggy! What are we going to do now?"
Catching in the stranger's voice a warm, cordial note, Kashtanka licked his hand, and whined still more pitifully.
"Oh, you nice funny thing!" said the stranger. "A regular fox! Well, there's nothing for it, you must come along with me! Perhaps you will be of use for something. . . . Well!"
@The Cooler: I'm starting to understand how these socialites who do nothing earn money for fur coats...
@MisterHippity: Actually, she is the Celebu-Twit Ambassador. Which is why our relations with celebu-twits have been deteriorating.
@Richard: We'll never get to Moscow at this rate, will we Ali? What do you think, Di-wait a minute! Are you trying to pretend you're my sister again?
@rosaluxembourgeoise:
Have pity on me!" she whispered in his ear. "Oh, have pity on me! I am so miserable!"
"You don't know your part! Listen to the prompter!" hissed the tragedian, and he thrust his sword into her hand.
After the performance, Limonadov and Fenogenov were sitting in the ticket box-office engaged in conversation.
"Your wife does not learn her part, you are right there," the manager was saying. "She doesn't know her line. . . . Every man has his own line, . . . but she doesn't know hers. . . ."
Fenogenov listened, sighed, and scowled and scowled.
Next morning, Masha was sitting in a little general shop writing:
"Papa, he beats me! Forgive us! Send us some money!"
@rosaluxembourgeoise:
MARKOVA
So you like coat?
LOHAN
Yes, it's so warm and cuddly.
MARKOVA
And smell like grandmother.
LOHAN
Ew?
MARKOVA
Grandmother dead. She give me coat and you take.
LOHAN
My arms did smell of moldy toast and seaweed afterward.
MARKOVA
Da. She had high jeans problem.
LOHAN
Ew.
MARKOVA
So you take coat from coat check, and perhaps not notice I would notice?
LOHAN
Like I said, warm, furry. Want some blow?
MARKOVA (angry)
You disgrace the memory of my babushka!
LOHAN
Is that like a bread or something?
MARKOVA
Nyet.
LOHAN
Sex toy?
MARKOVA
Nyet!
LOHAN
Are you sure you don't want some blow?
MARKOVA
Okay, okay, you say sorry for coat first.
LOHAN
Okay. I'm sorry.
MARKOVA
Is not so sincere, this tone of yours.
LOHAN
I am sorry I took your moldy-bread, seaweed-smelling coat.
MARKOVA
Okay, good. Now ve do blow.
LOHAN
I like your style!
MARKOVA
And after, ve go to bottom of Arctic Ocean in bathysphere, and claim vast oil reserves for Mother Russia.
LOHAN (puts both hands on hips; tilts head to the right.)
Did President Putin put you up to this?
MARKOVA (into camera)
Don't you mean... (beat) Prime Minister?
(BOTH LAUGH MANIACALLY. FADE TO BLACK.)
Kashtanka whined louder. The fat stranger stroked her back and marvelled at her copper hue.
Kashtanka shuddered with all her might.
The plump man removed his mink coat and covered the helpless stray, a charitable smile visiting his round, greasy lips.
Kashtanka ran with all her might. She could not hold on to the man's coat, but she had felt, long enough, the embrace of a stranger, and casting aside the mink coat in her haste, realized that she was not a miserable creature, after all.
@In Other News...:
Is offence if we test you for steroids now, Comrade InOtherNews?
@rosaluxembourgeoise:
PAVEL CHEKOV
Perhaps you have heard old story of "Cinderella." If shoe fits, vear it!.
@In Other News...:
Your idioms, they flee me.
@In Other News...: Speaking of Chekov, Sulu's gettin hitched!
how is everyone missing the obvious joke, that perhaps her notorious dyed-to-match-snatch suddenly balooned to envelope her?
@Bell County: he thrust his WHAT into her hand ???
Fur is dead Ruskie! My friends in PETA plan to find you in it and douse that coat in red paint. You better NEVER wear it in public again. Ever. It's ugly. Like you. LEAVE LINDSAY ALONE!
Wasn't there an attractive coat to steal?
@rosaluxembourgeoise: @Hez: So I fell asleep, and woke up to - swearsies! - a test of the Emergency Alert System. At 2:32AM EST. Upon completion of the test, I stood up and thought it was Friday. Then I looked at my computer to find comments about steroids and a marrying Sulu. I then realized it was not Friday.. Sad!
What the $10,000 for? What does that coat need as a result of spending two weeks with LiLo? Therapy?
@Mike_Jahn: She probably ought to give Lilo $10,000 for getting her name in the news. The Tins is probably throwing coats at people as we speak.
sticky fingers at a party is inexcusable - it's not a nightclub, you're a guest. What if Lilo had stolen her host's 12k family heirloom painting off the wall?
@minx: One of the unwritten rules about being a party crasher is that it's your duty to steal everything that isn't nailed down.
@ShoplifterOfTheWorld: Oh the devil will findwork for idle hands to do. I stole and then I lied, and why? because you asked me to.
@In Other News...: I've been out of the loop, but you are spot on here.
This is how Dina defines success.
When she saw this coat she thought it was beaver and she had to take it. There are other photos of her licking it.
Nevermind the coat! What the hell does she have in her hand????
@In Other News...:
MARKOVA (angry)
You disgrace the memory of my babushka!
LOHAN
Is that like a bread or something?
Mazeltov!