Which 'Rotund Thespian Beast' Was Relunctantly Mounted By A Coked Up Waiter?

Who doesn’t adore blind items? True, many are snoozy (“Which unmarried local newscaster is totally making out with his assistant!?!”), but when the sneaky item involves “rotund actresses,” “cocaine-fueled romps,” and name-calling on the level of “this beast,” we are all over it. In today’s NY Daily News, those lovable married gossips Rush & Molloy serve up one of the juiciest Just Askings we’ve seen in some time:

Which rotund actress had a romantic rendezvous with a waiter - but only after the server's boss promised him free food and drinks if he "went the extra mile" to keep the thespian happy? One cocaine-fueled romp later, and the waiter has yet to see his payoff. "I slept with the beast for this?" he complained.

Naturally we present some of the front runners for you, the loyal Defamer audience, after the jump. As always, your guesses are not only encouraged, but expected!

Our guesses and why:

Which 'Rotund Thespian Beast' Was Relunctantly Mounted By A Coked Up Waiter?

Camryn Manheim: Okay, Camryn has made a career of proudly declaring how beautiful she is, and we have to agree. That said, she doesn't necessarily strike us as the cocaine type.

Nikki Blonsky: Love her, adore her, want to tuck her inside our pocket and pluck her out whenever we've got the blues. She seems pretty straight-laced, but all that perkiness can't be natural ... can it?

Jennifer Hudson: Again, when we're feeling down, we will dig up our copy of Dreamgirls and fast-forward (who are we kidding - we've got that scene's time-stamp memorized) to "And I Am Telling You," cry our little heart out and feel just fine. But, we must admit, the story fits J. Hud.

But enough about us...what do you think about us the rotundee in question?