What happened last night on the Sci-Fi Channel's sweaty, greasy, sinewy space ballet that is Battlestar Galactica? As I snoozed in air-conditioned bliss, my liver was good enough to jot down some notes. As usual: Spoilers? Could be!

• "Tonight's movie will be The Glory Brigade. Rock 'em, sock 'em... kisses you never got..." Oh wait. That's MASH. What the heck channel am I on?
• Bleachy Cyclon dying? Again? And Pretty Asian Cyclon shot her? Why?!
• Now Saggyface Actorman is president? How many presidents you people gonna get?
• Oh Pretty Asian Cyclon. You can't go around shooting people in the gut coz you have "visions". No one wants your little high-bread baby anyway.
• "Get her out of my sight!" You know, Miami Vice, you're starting to get on my nerves. And you looked silly being secret ninja man on that other show.
• Great. Old Eyepatchy and Miami Vice babbling at each other again. Blonde Tomboy Space Girl, mofos! Bring her out. Bring her out now.
• Saggyface Actorman and Hollywood Neutral Hunkbot arguing. Kee-righst! If you have a penis, get off my TV right now!
• This is getting to be like Buffy if they did a whole episode with just Xander and Giles and Spike. Except none of those guys suck!
• Only high-breads can find the goo-ship, Bleachy? So you are gonna steal Pretty Asian Cyclon's baby!
• Ew Bleachy! Stop touching Old Eyepatchy! Quit it!
• What's with the fucking leprechaun? No one's got you stinkin' pot o' gold.
• Blonde Tomboy Space Girl! Yaaaaaaay! But, huh? Full dress uniform? No sweaty cleavage or biceps? No greasy hair? You people are killing me!
• And now she's gone.
• Leprechaun speech. I am so out of here!
• "It's got what plants crave. It's got electrolytes." Ha!

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