Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Throw Bash For Everyone In Hollywood Who Secretly Hates Them, Including Suri

When the Count and Countess of Scientology throw a party, they do not set out plastic lawn chairs and serve crustless honey-drenched finger sandwiches. No, when TomKat decide to invite all of their friends and frenemies (and even some enemies!) over for a daytime soirée, the Knights of Hubbard throw the kind of party that puts everyone from the Royal Family to Donatella Versace to shame. On Saturday afternoon, TomKat decided to congratulate themselves on purchasing yet another of their many torture chambers loving households in Beverly Hills by hosting the likes of Kirstie “I Should Be Dead” Alley, Oprah “Never Forget” Winfrey, Victoria “Posher Than Katie” Beckham, and Jennifer “Marc Is Sick Again” Lopez. And putting aside Suri’s adorably Croc-like sandals and her ongoing tendency to appear just as frightened of her father as the rest of the world, this A-list party’s most impressive attributes were the pimped out rides. After the jump, a collection of the invitees in their modes of transportations, and a sampling of just how much security goes into protecting their Friends and Foes from Xenu’s ominous Orwellian eye:

Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Throw Bash For Everyone In Hollywood Who Secretly Hates Them, Including Suri

With other guests like Kyra Sedgwick, Eva Longoria and Tobey Maguire attending, it's no surprise the security was so tight, but why the golf carts? Did Tom and Katie really force their guests to go scootering around their mansion just to say, Look! We're Rich! You Knew That Already But, But...Look!

Tom Cruise And Katie Holmes Throw Bash For Everyone In Hollywood Who Secretly Hates Them, Including Suri


Though paparazzi weren't allowed to snap anywhere near the actual party, they did manage to get a good handle on just how pricey the guests' rides were: Bentleys, Lexuses and Porsches galore. We're just relieved Jeremy Piven wasn't on hand to witness the rides, lest he throw a very Ari Gold-esque fit and begin pounding away at his beloved hoopty chick magnet with his hairy bare fists.

[Photo credits: X17, Splash]