Lou Dobbs For Governor

CNN shouter Lou Dobbs is apparently "mulling a run for New Jersey governor." Oh, please let that be true! Current governor Jon Corzine is quite unpopular and "Republican officials" claim the oddly orange-hued pseudo-populist pundit is "taking steps toward running" for that prestigious office himself. We cannot think of a better idea! For so many reasons!

First off, there is no better place for Lou Dobbs to rule than New Jersey, the blighted industrial wasteland split between hellish suburbs of New York and Philadelpia (and some beaches). Also: did you know that New Jersey has the fifth largest percent change in its Mexican immigrant population since 2000? It's up 86.9 percent! This will be perfect for Lou, who will finally have the authority to carry out the mass Ethnic Cleansing plans he formulates on his entertaining television show.

Also he'll be able to patrol New Jersey's border personally, keeping it safe from the boatloads of illegal immigrants coming in from the Atlantic Ocean. Maybe he could put a wall up between Jersey and its neighboring states? Then we all win!

(And when you run for office, especially one so high as governor, often times you are actually held accountable for the hateful bullshit you say. There are even occasionally times when the targets of your many attacks have a chance to respond on terms not set by you! So hey, Run, Lou, Run!)