We Must Have A Better Slur For 'White People!'

The fabricated non-scandal of Michelle Obama purportedly calling Caucasian Americans "Whitey" has had at least one benefit: it's opened the door for a discussion of how poor the slurs addressing white people really are. Christ, how is it fair that there are perfectly terrible, accepted slurs for damn near every minority, but not for white people? We're the ones who are actually evil! Writing in The Root, Kim McLarin points out that nobody even says "whitey" any more (if they ever did). But there aren't any good alternatives. Unless you come up with some, for the sake of equality:

I have spent the afternoon trying-with all the honesty and courage and humble introspection that is called for in this historic moment, with America poised to finally cast off its original sin and move into the full realization of those ringing words in the Declaration of Independence-to think about the terms black folks use when talking among themselves about white people.

I could barely move my pencil tip. Probably because black folks spend a lot less time talking or even thinking about white people than most white, right-wing reactionaries and their black counterparts dream in their hot little dreams. I had trouble, and, after hours and hours, the best I could come up with was this:

In totality, the list is: "White folks, white, white people, they." And in niche situations, mostly in the past: "Ofay, The Man, redneck, cracker."

Disgraceful, honestly. Our racist country deserves better.